A Dork's Classic Tale.

SJGR

2012-01-24T11:54:00.004+07:00

"Dis lagi ngapain? Kok sendirian aja nih?"
"Haha, emang selalu kok"

Akhir-akhir ini gue baru sadar orang-orang pelan-pelan ngendus ke-ansosan gue. AFTER MONTHS? Too late. Rejection from the society has made me a skeptic loner. Gue mulai berpikir secara sinis dan sarkastis, gue mulai membenci keadaan sekitar, gue sering cabut pelajaran hanya untuk menyendiri di pojokan sekolah yang terlupakan dan ngegambar suasana yang terlihat dari spot itu. Apapun asal gue jauh dari keramaian. Because I hate that f**king paradox: feeling alone in the crowd.

Gue menikmati ngegambar... Karena itu selalu melibatkan ngomong ke diri sendiri, merenung, berpikir dalam, sampe gue ngerasa seperti filsuf. Gambar-gambar terakhir yang gue buat di sketchbook gue kebanyakan punya meaning yang emosional dan skeptis. Gue ngerasa lama-lama gue jadi rada emo, cih.

Shit just got real, and I'm falling deep. Don't know how to lead my life. Don't wanna live on this planet anymore.

So goodbye.

We Got A Life

2012-01-19T21:32:00.005+07:00

Udah dari beberapa lama yang lalu, gue kepikiran pengen ngepost kumpulan printscreen dari account-account gue yang tersebar di berbagai website di internet. Semacem sneak-peek gitu buat yang ngga kenal gue. Tapi waktu itu gue males, sampe akhirnya barusan gue kepikiran karena emang ga ada bahan buat dipost. Mulailah gue bukain account-account gue satu-satu.

Tapi ketika gue buka-bukain account-account itu, gue sadar... Sekarang website yang gue buka paling itu-itu aja. Gue inget, sekitar 2007-2008an, kalo kenalan sama orang pasti yang ditanya 'punya account di mana aja'. Banyak yang sign up di mana-mna biar keren gitu tau banyak website. Kaya anak yang sign up ke AIM (AOL IM) yang mungkin jumlah user Indonesia nya itungan jari, sebenernya ga guna, tapi berasa keren aja gitu orang kalo di profile Friendsternya ada "AIM: xxx_xxx" hahahah.

Sekarang, site yang masih orang buka palingan tinggal Twitter untuk update singkat dan Facebook untuk sharing yang lebih kompleks. Orang-orang buka internet seperlunya aja, ga ada yang internetan kaya makan tiga kali sehari. Karena orang-orang tambah dewasa, mungkin? Engga juga. Waktu taun 2007-2008an kayanya internet addiction ga pandang umur, tua-muda kena.

Gue? Gue juga sama, bosen internetan, sekarang gue lebih milih tidur daripada internet. Oke itu emang nomal banget -_-, tapi sebelum gue jadi kaya sekarang ini, gue pernah ngalamin fase lebih milih internet daripada tidur. Tapi gue ga pernah jadi internet addict, meskipun orang semua nganggep gitu. Gue dulu online terus cuman buat nungguin satu orang, yah efeknya gue jadi ngga jago bersosialisasi face-to-face karena dulu itu waktu gue kemakan buat online. Tapi setelah orang itu bukan siapa-siapa gue lagi yaa gue jadi bosen internetan, toh yang seru dari internet itu cuman ngepo-in sama ngobrol dengan orang eh orangnya ilang. Perlahan-lahan gue pun social climbing kalo kata Bu Adwi, status gue di masyarakat udah ga terlalu nerdy lagi kalo dibanding dulu karena gue bisa lepas dari hp. Akhirnya sekarang gue ga ketergantungan internet lagi.

Tapi lucu juga ya gue ngebandingin gue yang sekarang sama gue jaman FS... Sekarang gue tinggal harus berusaha supaya gue bisa berkomunikasi sama orang dengan normal secara verbal, tanpa internet.

Anyway, printscreenan account yang ga jadi dipost itu sudah terlanjur kekumpul, tapi accountnya terbengkalai semua, ga guna juga lo kepo-in. Jadi yang dipost di sini account di top 3 website yang paling sering gue buka aja ya....

Cie 9gagger.

Homogenous Society

2012-01-18T19:47:00.007+07:00

Dari awal, gue memang bukan anak yang jago bergaul. Ini ngefek ke preseverance gue ketika gue ada di lingkungan yang ga menyenangkan. Gue ga fleksibel dan ga bisa beradaptasi. Jadi, ketika lingkungan gue ga ngedorong gue untuk jadi gue, gue cenderung diem daripada salah ngomong.

Tapi gue ngga pernah bener-bener jadi pendiem sebelum masuk SMA. Ngga ngerti kenapa. Awalnya gue ngga apatis, masuk-masuk SMA gue temenan sama siapa aja, sampe sekarang pun gitu. Tapi ngga ada temen yang bener-bener masuk kriteria 'cocok' sama gue, sementara semua orang udah punya grupnya masing-masing. Jadilah setiap satu anak masuk ke satu grup... di mana mereka biasa bahas hal pribadi. Yang bikin orang luar ngga bisa jebe-jebe.

Asalnya, hal ini ga ngaruh apa-apa sih. Kalo di kelas gitu, toh kita tetep ngobrol sama siapapun yang bisa diajak ngobrol. Tapi ketika kita ngga diharuskan stay di lokasi yang sama (dalam hal ini bangku), orang-orang mulai balik ke grup mereka masing-masing. People walk in cliques, and I, well, I walk alone. Motto Liverpool ngga berlaku di hidup gue. I always walk alone literally, ke kantin, ke perpus, ke mana-mana.

Kalo ini terlihat seperti salah gue sendiri yang 'mau temenan aja mesti pake kriteria bla bla bla', yah sebenernya itu ngga se practical yang lo kira. Gampang kok gue cocok sama orang, gampang banget... asal orang itu bisa bikin gue nyaman kalo ngobrol sama dia. Hal yang bisa bikin gue cocok sama orang juga banyak lho. Ada temen yang cocok sama gue kalo lagi sharing suka dan duka. Ada temen yang cocok sama gue gara-gara dia punya taste dan style yang sama ama gue. Ada temen yang cocok sama gue karena cara ngejokenya pas buat gue, sampe ada temen yang cocok sama gue gara-gara nyambung ngomongin....... hehehe tebak sendiri aja yah.

Tapi mereka, temen-temen yang gue sayangin itu, mereka juga punya hidup. Hidup mereka ga cuma gue doang, dan mereka ga bisa segampang itu muncul ketika gue ngerasa kesepian di tengah keramaian... cie majas paradoksnya kena banget. Yang bertahan sering kontak-kontakan sama gue juga mungkin tinggal yang emang temenannya didasari kesetiaan dalam suka dan duka. Temen yang cuma untuk haha-hihi itu rata-rata easy come easy go... Tunggu, frase "easy come easy go" itu udah ada dari dulu tapi kenapa sejak 2011 jadi bikin keinget Bruno Mars?

Tapi temen-temen baik gue dulu-dulu itu, kalau ditarik benang merahnya, sebenernya ketemu sama gue pas SMP semua. Ada apa dengan lingkungan SMA, sampe nambah temen yang asik dan berkualitas aja sesusah itu?

Gue baru sadar, di SMA gue, orang-orangnya cenderung sama, homogen, monoton. Semua sifatnya kaya gitu, ngga ada yang beda. Ketika gue SD, SMP, dan sebagainya, gue dihadapkan ke lingkungan yang bervariasi. Jadi gue bisa milih-milih mana orang yang cocok sama gue, walopun ngga jarang juga sekalinya nemu orang cacat, dia cacat banget. Di SMA ngga gitu bro. Gue kurang cocok sama sifat sebagian besar orang-orang di SMA gue, dan sayangnya sebagian sisanya juga sifatnya sama aja. Gue... gue ngga punya alternatif lain kecuali nerima mereka yang kaya gini. Gue ngga bisa milih, samasekali.

Solusi lain mungkin dengan ngga menggantungkan kehidupan pergaulan gue sama sekolah. Tapi sama apa lagi? Hidup gue udah cukup penuh sama sekolah, pulang-pulang kalo dihitung sama waktu perjalanan gue pulang ya gue ga punya waktu untuk gaul di lingkungan lain. Yang lain pada punya temen les atau bimbel? Gue terlalu capek untuk ikut gituan, gue bimbel cuma di VM yang notabene jadwalnya seminggu sekali, ga bisa dibandingin ama waktu gue bersosialisasi di sekolah.

Betapa enaknya main di lingkungan yang bervariasi. Toh nanti kalo udah gede juga kehidupan dalam realita yang bakal gue hadepin itu kehidupan dengan lingkungan yang heterogen. Entahlah. In the mean time, mungkin gue akan terus hidup dalem paradoks "kesepian di tengah keramaian", paling engga sampe 2 tahun lagi. 2 taun lagi, bisa kan? Bisa lah.

Hello School

2012-01-08T20:46:00.009+07:00

So this is the last day of this long year end holiday. My hands can't even write properly now -- I haven't touched any pen during the holiday.

How's your holiday? Mine was good. I had those days when I could stay in my home, lay in my bed all day long, sit in front of my laptop (finally...), do that so-called 'kartul', or mess with pencils and brushes. Can't stop my hands drawing craps, only few are great, but that's what you get when you're so bored. Few recent drawings got slight digital edits like this one

Ok I know I know I was supposed to learn digital painting this holiday, but I'm still a n00b, so I won't let you see my digital artworks -_-

But I've done many things outside as well. Countless. Had fun with my friends, family, and even my Donkey (he only came home for 4 days, 'though).

So I find it hard leaving this 3-weeks holiday. Am not ready for school yet ;/

Anyway, gonna buy myself a new sketchbook, some drawing pens, and a 2012 agenda. Yes, DISA wants an agenda! Don't know why, this year I wanna start writing notes about my schedules and tasks, including homeworks. Don't laugh, please. I fell in love with Gogirl! Magazine 2012 agenda, actually. I thought they gave it as bonus for January 2012 edition, so I bought one, but apparently it's bonus for December 2011 edition <\3 So... do you have the agenda and not planning to use it? Would you give it to me, please? :''')

Monday will start soon anyway.
Smellyalata

Last Words in 2011

2011-12-31T14:46:00.008+07:00

Bentar lagi 2012. Banyak yang bilang di tahun ini bakal terjadi huru-hara.

Ilmuwan bilang, bakal terjadi badai matahari. Pretty make sense.
Teori konspirasi berkata, sebuah secret society (ga perlu sebut merek, everybody knows kelompok yang lambangnya segitiga dan satu mata itu) merencanakan penghancuran dunia dan pembantaian umat beragama.
Beberapa orang lain bilang, kalopun secret society itu jadinya nggak ngapa-ngapain, di taun 2012 emang ada potensi akan pecah perang dunia ketiga. Liat aja Amerika-Israel yang roman-romannya mau ditantang negara bernuklir macem Iran.
Yang paling terkenal, suku Maya sejak berabad-abad yang lalu udah bilang, hari itu cuman ada sampe tanggal 21 Desember 2012. Yang coincidentally jatuh di ~~anniv satu setengah taunan gue dan Dodon~~ hari Jum'at, hari nya kiamat menurut Al Qur'an.

Ngeri bro.
But regardless those scary predictions, gue pingin mencoba menjalani 2012 biasa-biasa aja, walopun tentu aja mesti banyakin beramal sama nggak bandel-bandel, jaga- jaga, bisa mati kapan aja kan. Yang jelas, bagi gue, setiap tahun yang baru adalah kesempatan untuk menjadi pribadi baru, dan yang terpenting, belajar hal baru. Seperti yang alhamdulillah gue dapetin di tahun 2011, yang akan berakhir beberapa jam lagi.

For me, 2011 is not about happiness. Iya, bukan berarti 2011 taun yang suram juga, seneng-senengnya ada dan lumayan banyak kok. Tapi bagi gue highlightnya 2011 bukan itu. Di taun inilah gue baru ngerasa bener-bener 'tumbuh'. Dari pengalaman dan life lesson yang dateng di taun 2011, banyak yang akhirnya mengubah mindset gue jadi lebih... dewasa. Gue mulai belajar untuk memfilter kata-kata dan perbuatan. Gue jadi ngerti apa yang orang pengen dan ga pengen denger atau liat. Gue emang masih perlu banyak belajar. Tapi, setidaknya, gue sadar banget bedanya gue di taun 2010 yang labil dan gue di taun 2011.

Beberapa hal yang gue alamin di taun 2011:

Seeing new faces. Orang-orang yang sekarang berputar-putar di kehidupan gue kebanyakan orang-orang yang emang baru bener-bener nampak nyata di hidup gue sejak taun 2011. Dan orang-orang baru ini rata-rata inspiring. Disa senang bertemu kalian semua! Mau tau siapa yang paling berpengaruh?

Udah tau? Yaudah diem-diem aja kalo udah tau -_-

Dealing with envy and jealousy. Selama ini gue jarang ngalamin perasaan ini, karena gue terlampau egosentris dan posisi gue emang lagi di 'atas'. Di 2011 lah penyakit hati ini dateng dalem segala aspek kehidupan gue, mulai dari di bidang keahlian, pertemanan, sampe lovelife. Tapi akhirnya gue malah jadi tambah kuat dan perseverance gue nambah. Worth enough.

Having my life altered. Dulu, rencana hidup gue kayak udah terpatri di otak gue. Mulai dari mau jadi apa kalo udah gede sampe mau nikah sama siapa hahahaha oke jangan ketawa. Tapi, di taun ini, banyak kejadian yang bener-bener ngebelokin tujuan hidup gue. Asalnya emang gue jadi clueless dan bingung mau ngarah ke mana sih, but fortunately I could find my new track.
Salah satu kejadian yang paling di luar dugaan adalah masuknya gue ke jurusan sosial di sekolah. Gue disatuin sama jamet-jamet ini

Dan masuk kelas ini

Sempet bingung karena gue dulu ansos dan ga kepikiran sama bidang sosial yang klop sama gue (oke sampe sekarang masih bingung dan tujuan hidup gue malah jadi di bidang seni sih). Tapi ternyata banyak hikmahnya, gue bahagia sama temen-temen dan pelajaran-pelajaran yang sekarang, and stuffs. OH dan gue belajar untuk tidak ansos, malu ama jurusan.

Trying new things. Gue banyak nyobain hal-hal baru loh taun ini. Mulai dari belajar digital painting, nyobain bisnis beneran (walopun akhirnya out), sampe pacaran jarak jauh hahaha. Banyak juga hal-hal kecil yang gue cobain in the name of nekat, dan itu asik. Kalo gue disuruh cari meme yang pas untuk bagian ini, well, it would be "Challenge Accepted".

My best month of this year is September and the worst is March, how about you? Yah tapi intinya 2011 itu keren kok, walopun dari segi have fun nya masih kerenan 2009 hehe.

Now it's time for..... resolution check! Pas taun baru 2011, gue bikin resolusi gue untuk taun ini di post ini. Tercapai semua nggak ya? Let's see.

Getting good grades and rank in class, at least 10th. Alhamdulillah tercapai pas kelas 11, walopun pas gue bikin resolusi ini aim nya pembagian rapot akhir kelas 10.
Taking science class, tidak tercapai. Nilai gue engga cukup, sedih ya, tapi lebih baik daripada gue masuk IPA dan struggling selama 2 taun lalu nilai gue baru engga cukupnya pas UN. tetot.
Learning new things. Sangat tercapai.
Living my life peacefully. No this yeat it's not peaceful, it's chaotic, but it's fun.
Getting the chance to be 16 years old. OH SEE I'M BREATHING AT THIS MOMENT.
Seeing all my wishes come true. Tunggu... wishes gue apa ya? Gue aja lupa hahaha, kalo maksudnya wishes gue adalah resolusi nomer 1 sampe 5, well, ngga semuanya tercapai tapi gue fine-fine aja ternyata hehehe.

Resolusi untuk tahun 2012? Ehm.... tidak ada. Sayang sekali saudara-saudara... Tapi gue punya harapan untuk taun 2012, salah satunya adalah gue ingin berkesempatan hidup di tahun 2013, jadi gue berharap hal-hal yang ada di awal post ini nggak bener-bener terjadi. Semua bisa aja ngetawain gue, dikiranya gue percaya gituan. Well, gue nggak bisa bilang percaya atau engga, yang tau masa depan cuma Allah, tapi nggak ada salahnya siap-siap kan?

Harapan gue di 2012 masih nggak jauh-jauh sama harapan gue di 2011. Gue pingin nilai gue bagus di rapot karena gue pingin masuk PTN lewat jalur undangan. Gue pingin berkesempatan ngalamin sweet seventeen, bukan ngerayain maksudnya -_- tapi sekedar masih idup di tanggal 28 September 2012. Gue pengen ngerasain punya KTP dan SIM hahaha. Gue pengen taun 2012 menyenangkan. Klasik, nggak muluk-muluk, tapi penting.

Sekarang jam 5 sore. 7 jam lagi, tahun ini berakhir.

Seandainya taun 2011 bisa diajak ngomong, gue pengen ngomong sama dia sebelum dia pergi. Makasih atas kenangan dan life lessonsnya. Makasih, gue masih tetep bareng orang-orang yang gue sayangin, dan nggak ngalamin indikasi bakal ditinggal orang yang disayangin... seperti ucapan tahun baru pertama yang gue terima di tahun 2011.

2011, thanks. You rocked my life. I will always remember you.

Dear, Arini Dyah Sarashwati

2011-12-25T11:52:00.003+07:00

Dear, Arini Dyah Sarashwati (With H, namamu lebih indah jika kembali ke kodratnya, kembali ke nama yang tercantum di akte kelahiran. That sounds more beautiful, seriously).

Kita selalu menikmati ratusan hal aneh yang kita lalui bersama. Mulai dari yang sepele, seperti kabur dari sekolah ke komplek yang kita temui di peta untuk nyari tau alamat seseorang lalu kayang di sana, sampai jalan kaki tanpa alas kaki di pinggir flyover Semanggi yang tinggi, pembatas jalannya pendek, dan nggak ada trotoarnya itu. You name it. Kita tahu definisi konkrit tentang aneh karena kita aneh, dunia tau kita aneh, dan kita menikmati keanehan itu. Walaupun sekarang kita sudah semakin dewasa untuk tahu mana keanehan yang bisa ditoleransi, kalau dibanding dulu.

Dear, Saras. Kita aneh, hidup pun aneh, dan jangan mencoba egosentris. Orang-orang aneh di dunia tidak hanya kita. The world have plenty of weird people. Mereka aneh, dan keanehan-keanehan berbeda dari setiap orang mencoba memanipulasi setiap keanehan dari individu yang lain. Berlarilah. Orang-orang tidak sebaik yang kau pikirkan. Kuulangi lagi, hidup itu aneh, dan kau harus ingat itu baik-baik.

Dear, Saras. Caramu memandang segalanya apa adanya itu indah. Naif, tapi memberi life lesson untuk orang-orang tidak naif yang merasa lebih hebat darimu itu. Yang tadi kubilang manipulatif itu. Tapi sebelum mereka tahu life lesson yang kau ajarkan, they will always be the same. Kalau belum diberi pencerahan, tempat itu akan tetap gelap dan tidak menyenangkan. Ingat kata orang tua? Jangan berjalan di kegelapan, nanti kalau diculik tidak bisa pulang.

Dear, Saras. Apa yang dapat kau simpulkan? Mereka manipulatif, mereka jahat, tapi mereka begitu karena mereka bodoh. Belum tahu esensi keanehan itu. Belum tahu kalau keanehan itu indah, setiap orang tidak harus bangga dengan keanehannya, tapi keanehan itu bukan untuk dimanfaatkan orang lain. Kalau semua orang terus mencoba membodohi orang lain, maka dunia akan penuh orang-orang yang bodoh karena dibodohi. Would it be a good planet to live in? No, I guess.

Tetaplah menjadi dirimu yang sekarang. Mungkin kau lelah untuk menunggu, tapi someday, mereka akan sadar merekalah yang bodoh sementara kau yang pintar.

And whenever you need friend,
I will always be there.

"Merry Christmas, I Could Care Less"

2011-12-24T22:47:00.006+07:00

Tonight is Christmas Eve and I'm sure lotsa people out there are enjoying this moment. So I'm gonna present a video of me and my friend Alfistya covering Yule Shoot Your Eye Out by Fall Out Boy. For those who don't know, this is an ironic Christmas song. :')

Tidak usah ketawa ya nontonnya!!! Soalnya kita udah ketawa duluan -_- ngejamet itu indah, seindah kejametan itu sendiri.
Anyway that "Don't come home for Christmas" sounds like "Don, come home for Christmas" and he's really gonna come home 2 days after Christmas, so... that reff's kinda stuck in my head.

Yasudah ya. Udah. Selamat menikmati.

December 21st, 2011

2011-12-22T12:21:00.009+07:00

"Ia terkadang lelah menerjang badai untuk mencapai tepi pantai.
Tapi di tepi pantai itulah, seseorang yang membuatnya tetap hidup, menunggunya dengan gusar.
Walau berdiam di lautan tenang, pada akhirnya ia akan mati."

Semalem nangis lagi. Capek.
Bilang "hai" pun sesulit itu.
Akhirnya ditelpon. Engga nangis lagi. Malah ga berenti senyum sampe 4 jam.
Segampang itu senyum, ya, segampang itu.
Sama gampangnya sama ngedapetin balik kekuatan untuk lanjut, di saat mulai ngerasa udah ga kuat lagi.
Bahkan, tanpa sadar, kekuatan yang didapetin itu lebih banyak dari sebelumnya. I'm gaining power.

Kemaren tepat 6 bulan, dan gue semakin mantep untuk lanjut.
Is it impossible to reach eternity? I guess no, the word itself says "I'm-Possible".

Happy half-anniversary, Don.

Where Else?

2011-12-16T21:25:00.006+07:00

Selama ini ngga ada orang yang tau kaya apa gue sebenernya. Bukan karena gue muka dua, bukan karena gue kadang ngga jadi diri sendiri. Tapi karena emang dasarnya orang-orang ngeliat gue dari sisi yang berbeda. Ngga ada yang salah liat sebenernya, tapi apa yang mereka liat ngga ngasih gambaran yang sempurna tentang gue.

Ibarat orang buta ngeraba gajah. Kalo dia megang buntutnya, mungkin akan ngira gajah itu kecil panjang. Kalo dia megang telinganya, mungkin bakal ngira gajah itu tipis dan lebar. Kalo dia megang gadingnya, mungkin bakal mikir gajah itu bengkok dan keras. Ngga ada yang salah, di gajah emang ada bagian yang tipis lebar atau kecil panjang dll, tapi gajah kalo diliat seluruhnya gimana? Pasti pada mikirnya gajah itu gede, udah.

Back then, 3,5 taun belakangan ini gue pewe nunjukin gue yang sebenernya palingan di blog. Karena di sini gue sendiri yang ngatur orang akan ngeliat gue dari sisi mana, dan ngga banyak yang bakal berkomentar. Ngga kaya di twitter, lo ga bakal dibash unless you or your post topics are famous (and controversial). Oh ya dan kalopun pembaca lo banyak juga mereka random jadi selo aja. .....well, yang ini mindset yang paling ngejebak bloggers.

Kenapa ngejebak? Lo jadi nyantai ngepost something yang lo ga pengen someone tau, karena lo mikir readers lo random jadi someone itu 99,99% positif ga bakal termasuk random readers lo itu. What if the 0,01% still counts? Chances are lo akan sadar blog ga 100% aman dan lo mulai berhenti membuka 100% sisi dari lo.

"Lalu, ke manakah kau akan berlari dan memberitahu dunia siapa dirimu?"

2 Kinds of Old Friends You Should Let Go

2011-12-14T20:42:00.008+07:00

Friends who had bullied you for years, and will always see you the same.
Friends who turned into your ex after years, and will never see you the same.

Runaway Pictures

2011-12-08T21:38:00.004+07:00

Tadi di kelas gue gambar ini

(lagi males nyalain PC buat ngescan)
Proporsinya yang masih ngaco bikin gue sadar kalo skill gambar gue masih sangat cupu, dan ini bikin gue mikir kenapa gue ga jago-jago. Pemikiran gue berkata, oh karena gue jarang belajar gambar, lebih tepatnya ga pernah, karena gue ga pernah serius.

Ga pernah serius?

Gue baru sadar kalo sebenernya semua gambar gue adalah pelarian.
Furthermore, semua yang berhubungan dengan gambar bagi gue adalah pelarian.

Shocking fact, huh? No. Selama ini gue sadar kok kalo di kelas gue baru mulai ngegambar ketika gue lagi ngerasa kesepian atau ngerasa ga bisa ngerjain soal yang disodorin ke gue. Di rumah juga gue browsing artworks bagus cuma untuk lari dari kebosanan. Gue ngegambar kadang buat nyari duit doang, means gue males ngelakuin hal lain yang bisa nambah duit kecuali gambar. Oke, gambar bisa jadi segalanya buat gue, tapi pada dasarnya selalu pelarian. Sedih ga sih jadi 'aktifitas menggambar'? Sedih, gue tau rasanya, pernah ngalamin jadi pelarian juga kok heheh. (no comment) (Dodon jangan ketawa kalo baca post ini)

Mencoba menggali lebih dalam lagi, gue juga baru sadar kalo gue biasa ngegambar pas lagi ada masalah. Tapi gambar-gambar itu ngga pernah nolongin gue dari masalah.
Karena sering gambar, orang-orang jadi ngeliat gue sebagai tukang gambar. Predikat tukang gambar itu juga nutupin image jelek gue, padahal sebenernya image jelek itu harusnya diilangin, bukan ditutupin.
Karena pengen jadi graphic designer, gue pingin masuk FSRD ITB. Padahal seperti yang kita tau gambar gue masih cupu dan SNMPTN tinggal 1,5 taun lagi. Lama-lama gue sadar kalo mungkin gue pingin masuk FSRD cuma untuk pelarian karena nilai gue ngga bagus di bidang akademis.

The worst part of this is, gue makin jarang ngegambar. Seakan gue pribadi yang bener-bener belum dewasa, yang ngga bisa ngadepin kenyataan, dan akhirnya kabur dari dunia 3 dimensi yang complicated ini ke dunia 2 dimensi yang lebih bebas. Cuma dateng ke dunia 2 dimensi kalo di dunia 3 dimensi lagi ada something.

Gue harus bangun dari mimpi gue di dunia 2 dimensi itu.
Lagipula, gambar-gambar gue itu, engga suka dimadu.

Oh, This Is Simply Fun

2011-12-02T19:51:00.004+07:00

Hey. So yesterday a friend of mine (not a wise one) said "Hidup itu jangan kemakan sama cinta". Sedikit bener sih, walopun lanjutannya "Makan tuh cinta wakakaka lo mau tuh entar idup melarat ama suami lo modal cinta doang? HAHAH" #laludiangakak #laluguepokerface.

Banyak orang ngeliat gue sebagai bocah yang terlalu serius mikirin relationship things, padahal gue masih abege ingusan. Termasuk orang yang ngomong kaya barusan untuk nyindir my previous melodramatic relationship with my you-know-which ex. Kesannya cheesy gitu gue hahaha cih. Gue sering kena ceng-cengan soal ginian.
Well, gue agak pingin ketawa dibilang serius, jelas-jelas gue orangnya apa-apa selow. Cuma mungkin untuk urusan hubungan, I prefer being free daripada harus pacaran sama orang yang ga begitu klop sama gue. Which means kalo gue sampe berani bikin komitmen buat pacaran, berarti gue serius. In short, tiap pacaran gue selalu serius. Dan mindset ini sadar-gak-sadar bikin gue skeptis liat orang yang pacaran dengan alesan duit lah, alesan main-main lah, alesan apa aja selain karena sayang itu sendiri. Mau nyebut gue rempong? Justru menurut gue hubungan kaya gitu jauh lebih rempong daripada jadi jomblo yang bebas menikmati hidup haha.

I am simple, and God sent me a simple guy to complete me. Seperti gue, Donkey juga orangnya ga mau ribet, post ini aja mungkin bakal dia anggep ribet menurut standar dia -_-. So currently gue lagi ngejalanin hubungan super simple dengan orang yang super simple pula. Ketika gue tau Donkey keterima di Unsoed dan harus menetap di Purwokerto yang gue aja asalnya ngga tau itu di Jawa Tengah apa Timur (jangan ketawa please), gue kira semuanya bakalan jadi ribet. Kebalik. Saking jarangnya kita ketemu secara langsung, saking ngga intensenya komunikasi kita, setiap ngobrol all we ever care about is how each other is doing out there or how to have fun together. Kalo ada yang pernah nguping gue sama dia otp, kita hampir nggak pernah berantem ato ada masalah, isinya ngakak sama ceng-cengan semua, karena kita ngga tertarik untuk nganalisa hubungan kita terlalu dalem sampe nemu something untuk dipermasalahin. And when he's home, all we ever wanna do is talk, play around, or cuddle. We don't have time to think about details, so we have nothing to worry about. Kita terlalu seneng, kita terlalu nyaman, dan kenyamanan itu bikin kita ngga curiga satu sama lain sepertl orang LDR kebanyakan.

Orang-orang di sekitar gue mana tau fun yang gue dan Dodon dapetin. Mereka pasti ngira gue cewe fragile yang (walopun fragile) kuat pacaran jarak 500 km karena cinta h4h4h4 anjrit cheesy abis. Tapi hmm, terus kalo bukan modal cinta modal apa dong gue sampe mau nempel terus ama gembrot jerawat tukang ngebully ini? Mungkin kalimat menggelikan tadi sebenernya emang bener, cuma nggak proper aja kata-katanya. Hmm. *muka nahan berak*

"Our friends would all make fun of us, and we'll just laugh along because we know that none of them have felt this way"
- Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's

What did they say? I don't give a fuck. We'll stick together, Don. I know we will.

Words To Remember

2011-11-16T14:27:00.005+07:00

"Kalo seseorang pernah ninggalin kamu karena ga bisa nerima kamu apa adanya, bukan berarti semua orang bakal kaya gitu juga ke kamu"

- Bambang Ardhito Ramadhan, 18 tahun, pada suatu malam di sebuah rumah makan steak sederhana.

Failure

2011-11-16T13:20:00.003+07:00

NSDC (National Schools Debating Championship) itu OSN nya debate. Kalo lolos seleksi, nanti dikirim ke WSDC. W-nya itu World.

Satu senior gue yang lebih tua 2 taun (seangkatan sama Dodon) adalah delegasi Indonesia untuk WSDC.
Dua senior gue yang lebih tua 1 taun sekarang lagi di-training untuk dikirim ke WSDC taun berikutnya.

Tiga anak angkatan gue? Ke provinsi aja nggak lolos.

Ancur. Impian gue masuk World ancur. Jumat-Sabtu kemaren itu seleksi debate untuk milih perwakilan Jakarta Timur ke tingkat Jakarta. Nanti, kalo yang kepilih ini lolos lagi di tingkat Jakarta, dia bakal mewakili Jakarta di NSDC. Jalan masih saaangat panjang.

Gue, Radit, dan Indra dateng ke Ciracas dengan otak yang masih ngeblank. Sistemnya agak aneh, beda dari sistem di lomba-lomba yang kita ikutin. Maklum, yang ngadain Diknas. Kita berusaha ngeluarin semua kemampuan kita karena tiga-tiganya determined banget, tapi... gagal. Semua wakil 81 masuk 20 besar, tapi yang dipilih kan 3 besar...
Tetot.
Kalo kata Bu Adwi, ini namanya mobilitas antargenerasi turun.

Mungkin tujuan utama gue di debate tingkat high school emang fix ga berhasil gue dapetin. Ngga, mereka yang ngehibur gue engga ngerti, walopun ada banyak lomba-lomba lain yang bisa gue menangin tapi NSDC adalah prioritas gue.

Tapi ini bukan akhir dari segalanya.

Fix gue lanjut debate di tingkat varsity pas kuliah.

Percaya

2011-11-06T15:47:00.000+07:00

Di Bahasa Indonesia, cuma 1 kata untuk menggambarkan semuanya. 'Percaya'.
Di Bahasa Inggris, ada believe, ada trust, dll. Believe lebih menunjuk ke 'percaya kalo itu benar, percaya kalo itu ada', sedangkan trust itu istilahnya 'mempercayakan, percaya kalo seseorang bisa melakukan sesuatu, percaya kalo seseorang bisa menjaga sesuatu'

Gue bermasalah sama semua jenis 'percaya'. Kalo dulu gue pernah ngepost tentang orang-orang yang ga percaya sama penolakan gue kalo gue ngelakuin sesuatu, sekarang orang-orang ngga mempercayakan sesuatu sama gue.

Orang-orang ini satu komunitas di mana gue juga bagian dari mereka. Setidaknya gue pernah merasa bener-bener bagian dari mereka. Sampe akhirnya ada kejadian yang bikin gue sadar, gue ngga irreplaceable sama sekali. Mereka bisa dengan gampang nyari gantinya gue kalo gue ngga ada. Gue ngerasa tersisih, tapi gue malah bertahan di lingkup itu supaya mereka inget lagi sama gue.

Tapi gue malah ngelakuin kesalahan yang bikin mereka ngga percaya lagi kalo gue bisa ngelakuin sesuatu. Ngga penting sih, tapi sejak itu perlakuan mereka jadi beda ke gue. Gue baru sadar ga guna juga gue berusaha bertahan di sana, gue cuma perlu muncul kalo mereka butuh gue.

Sayangnya mereka emang ga butuh gue.

...

I think I just don't belong there.

So Long, Señorita.

2011-11-06T15:18:00.005+07:00

Lately nggak ada hal seru buat diceritain sih, things that eat lotta space in my mind is just difficulties on dealing with people. Nothing more.

Gue akhir-akhir ini jadi sering ngemil, di kantin sekolah ada Zuppa Soup loh sekarang, tapi 8 ribuan... Makanan di kantin sekolah kayanya gradually naik gitu deh, dulu goceng bisa kenyang, sekarang tetep kenyang sih kalo belinya Mie Nampol tapi goceng itu belom dapet yang sehat. Sehat itu 8 ribuan ._.

Gue juga jadi sering baca chicklit. Jangan ketawa plis HAHAHA soalnya gue udah ketawa duluan. See? Ini karena gue baru nyadar kalo chicklit ga semuanya seburuk yang ada di mindset gue. Di mindset gue dulu semua novel remaja itu ababil ababil gimanaa gitu, oh ternyata cuman teenlit doang yang gitu he he he. Tapi gue bacanya pinjeman semua -__-, kecuali Remember When nya Winna Effendi yang iseng gue beli pas ke Gramedia. To be honest, I'm pretty disappointed with this novel, tapi gak ada yang salah ama bukunya sih, guenya aja. Soalnya pas beli bukunya gue mengharapkan plot yang lebih kompleks gimanaa gitu tentang affair, eh ternyata cuman lovelife SMA biasa ._. tapi packagingnya bagus banget untuk ukuran plot kaya gitu. Kok gue jadi ngereview gini? Yah yang jelas itu buku sekarang rusak gara-gara tergeletak di lantai lalu kamar gue dindingnya merembes pas ujan lebat lalu lante kamar gue basah -.-

Banjir kecil itu ngga cuma ngancurin buku gue tapi juga mading bikinan Japan Club yang mau dilombain di Jiyuu Matsuri nya UNJ. Hmm sebenernya madingnya sih masih jauuuuh banget dari selesai, tapi artikel yang udah gue kumpulin dari majalah-majalah buat referensi pada ancur gara-gara basah -_- agak sial, apalagi yang dari majalah Concept lama (mau nyari Concept edisi baru aja susah gimana yang lama -__-). Yah gitudeh, jadi ngulang. Ngerjain mading ini salah satu hal yang bikin gue tetep sibuk akhir-akhir ini. Walaupun hari ini gue masih bisa leha-leha di rumah he he he. Tapi minggu depan hari Minggunya gue sampe ada planning buat sleepover sama tim mading demi ngejar deadlin loh, sampe Senin besoknya pas libur Sea Games hahaha. Kenapa ga dari Sabtu aja sekalian? Karena Sabtu depan Dodon pulang. Hell yeah.

Akhirnya minggu depan kita bisa ketemu hehehe, sebenernya terakhir ketemu baru sebulan yang lalu sih pas gue ultah. 'Baru sebulan'? Lama ya sebulan? Hahaha yah tapi kan kalo untuk ukuran orang LDR ga ketemu sebulan itu bentar... Hufffffftttttttth *diucapkan dengan super lebay*. Anyway kita udah 4 bulan jalan 5 loh hehe.

Ini artwork yang gue buat pas mensiv kemaren. So far 4 bulan ini alhamdulillah yah ga ada masalah berarti, cuma... I need to meet him in person. Regularly. Entah ya kapan gue sama Dodon bisa tinggal ngga jauh lagi, gini aja nih 2 taun lagi gue lulus SMA dan Dodon masih kuliah. Gue kuliah taruhlah 4 taun, selama itu tinggalnya masih berjauhan. Barudeh free. Berarti total mesti nunggu 6 taun lagi ya? Sigh. Kalo mau cepet ketemu sih yah... gue bisa aja kuliah di daerah Jawa sonoan. Tapi gue ga dibolehin kuliah jauh-jauh ama ortu, lagian gue masih mau ngejar mimpi gue untuk belajar desain di you know lah, institut yang ada patung gajahnya itu hehe.

Dan untuk itu, believe it or not, akhir-akhir ini gue jadi lebih niat belajar loh haha walopun standar gue untuk kata 'niat' itu rendah banget. Niat, walopun baru kelas 11, soalnya... GUE TAKUT SAMA TES KETERAMPILAN DI SNMPTN TERTULIS HEHE. OMG it's like lo disuruh gambar trus gambar lo dijejerin sama 4000 gambar lainnya dan dipilih seratus berapa puluh gambar -_-. Gue ga suka yang kaya gini karena dalem seni ngga jelas mana yang bener mana yang salah, ga jelas mesti gimana biar kepilih. Therefore gue pingin nilai rapot gue dari kelas 11 sampe nanti bagus, biar bisa ngejar undangan yang cuma kebuka 48 kursi. Huft banget mengingat di sekolah gue aja anak IPS angkatan gue yang mau masuk situ udah 6 (tambah gue 7). Belom ditambah yang dari IPA. Tetot. Doain ya...

Seharusnya sekarang gue turun ke meja makan karena mungkin daging melimpah ruah. Idul Adha coy...

Ok, so, in the end, selamat hari raya Idul Adha.
Disa Houzuki

Coincidence

2011-10-04T17:25:00.006+07:00

Hahaha ini agak norak gue ngepost ginian, jadi tadi siang kelas gue lagi jam pelajaran TIK di lab komputer. Ada spare time nih, anak-anak yang lagi bosen pada main Omegle di komputer masing-masing. Gue, Bangzet, Chasa, Eva, Sheba, Dalu.

Terus akhirnya gue sama Bangzet pengen iseng gitu, kan di Omegle sebelum kita dihubungin ke random stranger disuruh ngetik captcha dulu tuh trus klik submit. Gue sama Bangzet pengen nyobain ngebarengin ngeklik submitnya biar ktia bisa ketemu di Omegle hahaha. Tapi karena komputer kita jauh-jauhan, ngebarenginnya jadi susah. Akhirnya nyerah deh, tapi karena gue lagi iseng, even abis gue nyerah tiap stranger yang ketemu gue tetep gue tanyain "Bangzet bukan?" di awal conversation hahaha.

Setelah beberapa stranger lewat, gue ketemu stranger lagi dan bilang "Bangzet bukan?"

Eva, yang duduk tepat di belakang gue (punggung-punggungan) dan lagi konsen mantengin komputernya sendiri juga, tiba-tiba rusuh.

Ga lama satu kelaspun ikutan rusuh gara-gara Eva.
Barudeh Eva lanjut mainan komputer sambil cekikikan sendiri.

Mau tau kenapa dia tadi rusuh?

Click to enlarge hahah.

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me"

2011-09-30T21:36:00.004+07:00

Entah karena apa gue masang judul lagu Fall Out Boy sebagai judul post ini. Ga, ga mau ngereview kok. Ini tentang ~~yearly~~ daily life, apa yang gue alamin deh... So analyze the words in the title and try to guess the topic of this post. Sixteen? Candles?

Hahaha jadiiiiiii gue baru aja tambah gede. Sekarang gue udah ga bisa main ke Kidzania lagi, tapi taun depan gue udah bisa punya KTP dan SIM, trus ikut pemilu. Sejak Rabu kemaren, tanggal 28, umur gue genep 16 taun. Makin bertambah umur, makin berkurang sisa waktu gue sebelum mati. *backsound horror*

Kalo di luar negri biasanya sweet sixteen kan heboh tuh ya, cuma karena di Indonesia bekennya sweet seventeen ya 16 taun jadi biasa-biasa aja. Nothing special, ehm yah spesial sih kalo dibandingin hari-hari lain tapi ga spesial kalo dibandingin sama tanggal 28 September di taun yang lain. Jadi Rabu ini awalnya gue menjalani hidup seperti orang ultah pada umumnya aja. Mentions Twitter, wall Facebook isinya ucapan selamet ultah walopun ga semuanya bener-bener inget ultah gue kalo mereka ga buka internet. Di sekolah, banyak yang nyalamin. Masuk kelas, anak-anak yang udah di dalem kelas langsung tepuk tangan sambil nyanyi Happy Birthday. Pak Masrial, guru sosiologi gue yang freak dan tukang nyanyi juga nyanyiin gue.... Dan joget-joget di kelas. Asli ngeri.... ._.

But hey, this was fun. Kayanya taun ini gue dikelilingin orang-orang baik, lebih baik dari taun sebelumnya. Yang paling kerasa itu, temen-temen sekelas yang sekarang. Mereka kayak welcome banget gitu. Cuma satu yang ngeganggu pikiran siang itu; semalemnya gue abis ribut sama Dodon, agak parah lah ributnya, dan sejak itu diem-dieman jadi dia ga ngomong apa-apa sama gue waktu itu.... Nasib banget ya. Mana dari jauh-jauh hari dia udah bilang ke gue ga bisa ketemu pas ultah... Dia bilang ada makrab di Baturaden gitu, sibuk dia, tapi kalopun ga makrab juga dia gabisa cabut kuliah gitu aja dan pergi dari Purwokerto ke Jakarta segampang itu kan.... Yah hidup di provinsi berbeda kaya kita baru berasa nyeseknya kalo begini sih. Jadi hari itu gue sedikit uring-uringan, orang yang paling gue harepin malah ga ngelakuin apa-apa. Samasekali.

Tapi hari itu baru bener-bener dimulai sepulang gue sekolah.

Sehari sebelum gue ultah, Dalu udah bilang hari Rabu dia mau curhat sama gue. Pulang sekolah biar ga diceng-cengin anak-anak di kelas. Yah karena Dalu emang sering curhat sama gue, I didn't smell something malicious from him hahaha. Jadi gue pulang sekolah langsung barengan Dalu tuh, pertamanya keluar sekolah terus ke tukang fotokopian depan sekolah karena ada yang mau dia ambil. Sambil dengerin dia cerita. Okedeh Dal.

Pas di gerbang... Ada Sapi sama Alfira!! Hahaha mereka unyu sekali pake seragam 71 berasa saltum nongol di 81. Yah gue ketemu mereka langsung pelukan, terutama pas ketemu Alfira hahaha lama banget ga ngobrol sama dia, GFB aja terakhir conference udah lama banget. Mereka ngasih kado terbungkus sama gue, agak mencurigakan sih isinya -_-. Yah setelah itu Dalu minta ditemenin balik ke sekolah karena ada perlu sama si TM, yaudah gue ngikut, gue bilang ke Sapi dan Alfira supaya mereka nunggu di gerbang aja nanti gue balik lagi.

Gue sama Dalu ke kantin, tapi ngga ada TM. Kata Dalu yaudah cek ke parkiran aja. Teruuus gue ngeliat Alfistya lewat di kantin, dan gue inget dia pernah minta dikenalin sama Sapi, so I was like "Tya!! Ada Sapi loh di gerbang. Mau ketemu?" Dia kaya yang "Eh ayok Diss!!". Akhirnya gue, Dalu, sama Tya jalan bareng ke parkiran, lewatin ruangan-ruangan kelas. Tau-tau Tya nutup mata gue dari belakang dan ngomong,

"Dis, gue amu ngasiin elu sesuatu duluuu bentar. Tapi gaboleh liat dulu. Awas lu kalo ngintip"

Haha klise banget nih ngasih surprisenya kaya gini, tapi gue nurut biar seru, it would ruin the fun kalo gue ngintip kan? Gue ngerasa dibelokin masuk ke ruang kelas yang gelap sama Tya dan Dalu, feeling ga enak nih. "Apaan nih Ty? Kok gelap?! Awaslu kalo ngurung gua di sini T__T" tapi mereka kayak yang entar dulu dis entar dulu gitu.

Akhirnya mata gue dibuka. Tya sama Dalu nyanyi happy birthday. Gelap, yang keliatan cuma cahaya dari lilin. Ada yang bawain kue berlilin dari ujung ruangan dan jalan mendekat. Ga keliatan siapa yang bawain -_- tapi pas orang itu ngedeket, gue mulai mempertanyakan kinerja kacamata gue.

Itu Dodon?

Lampu dinyalain.

Itu Dodon.
ITU DODON.

Hahaha speechless saking bingungnya, gimana sih kalo questions were popping in your head. Kenapa Dodon di Jakarta instead of Purwokerto. Kenapa Dodon ga makrab. Kenapa Dodon ga kuliah. Sejak kapan dia balik. Dia kerjasama sama Tya dan Dalu? Kenapa gue ketemu Tya pas gue lagi sama Dalu itu kerasa kebetulan banget... Kenapa akting mereka natural banget -_-. Kenapa semuanya ngalir gitu aja dan tau-tau Dodon ada di depan gue. Kenapa perencanaannya bisa semateng itu. Wait, gue lagi berantem sama Dodon kan bukannya? Oh dia iseng doang ya. Oke pikiran gue balik lagi ke tempat itu.

Gue refleks nabok dia. "Dodon kok.... Aaaaah Dodon ngeseliiiiin!!" Disuruh tiup lilin, disuruh make a wish dulu, tapi otak gue masih rada bingung gitu jadi susah disuruh mikir mau wish apa. Yah gue cuma berharap yang baik-baik ke depannya, tambah dewasa seiring umur, langgeng sama Dodon lah dll dll. Gue tiup lilin, terus kuenya ditaro hahaha so I could hug him. And well I really hugged him then, walopun masih sambil ngamuk-ngamuk.
"Kok kamu di siniii?!"
"Hebat kaaan?"
"Ngeselin. Mana semalem udah bikin aku kesel. Katanya gabisa dateng? Katanya makrab? Udah bilang demi Allah loh waktu itu"
"Iya, demi Allah aku bo'ong"

-_-

Singkat cerita ternyata dia semalemnya itu berangkat naik kereta, dan sampe di stasiun Jatinegara pagi. Terus malem hari itu juga langsung balik lagi. Niat ye. Gue suruh Dalu manggil Sapi sama Alfira yang masih nunggu di gerbang hahah gue suruh ke situ aja bareng gue-Dodon-Tya. Terus gue motong kue, ga ada sendok kan, gue langsung masukin sepotong ke mulut Dodon sama Tya. Baru abis itu Dalu-Sapi-Fira.

Yaudalayaa emang mukanya lagi pada cacat.

We were having fun there, emang dasarnya jamet-jamet semua wkwk abis itu barudeh kita buka kado. Masa kado dari Dodon bentuknya 11/12 ama dia semua. Ada gantungan Angry Birds gidu haha tapi yang paling mirip Dodon itu boneka Cookie Monster. Asli empuknya sama bantetnya sama perut buletnya persis banget Dodon, yah lumayanlah bisa jadi substitusi buat dipelukin kalo lagi kangen. #LDRmemangkejam.

This is how it looks like, btw.

Abis itu barudeh beralih ke kado mencurigakan dari Sapi ama Alfira. Hahaha ini sebenernya gimana akhirnya kadonya kebuka tuh lawak banget, tapi skip aja, intinya ternyata isinya.... tali beha fancy, boneka monyet, dan bando yang ada wignya.

Jamet abis.

Lanjut ngakak-ngakak dan gila-gilaan, akhirnya satu-satu izin pulang. Hahaha aku sayang kalian semua. Terus beres-beres, gue ama Dodon pun keluar. Karena kuenya belom abis, akhirnya dibagi ke anak-anak yang kita lewatin aja. Abis deh. Terus bingung kita mau ke mana, akhirnya keliling-keliling KODAM -___-. Lalu karena laper akhirnya kita ke McD. Ketemu Tya lagi, dia sama Shafira. Kali ini Shafiranya lain, bukan Sapi Hanan, Shafira Imani yang ini.

Karena keabisan tempat akhirnya Dodon ngajak gue jebe-jebe makan semeja sama Tya dan Fira -_- yaudalaya. Di situ juga ngakak terus apalagi setelah Aulia dateng nyusul Fira sama Tya. Setelah kenyang dan hari mulai gelap kita terpaksa harus berpisah, huft ngedh nich. Akhirnya gue ambil ojek pulang, sementara Dodon langsung ke stasiun Jatinegara untuk naik kereta balik ke kosan.

Udah ga penting lagi setelah itu.

Gatau kenapa di taun ini gue baru nyadar kalo taun lalu gue beneran ga nyadar lingkungan. Gimana ya fokus gue terpusat di satu hal yang bahkan ga abadi dan taun ini udah ga ada lagi. Baru sekarang gue pay attention to little things around. Ternyata dunia tuh indah, dan banyak orang-orang di sekitar gue yang peduli sama gue tapi selama ini gue abaikan gitu aja. Intinya di taun ini gue lebih menghargai apa yang gue punya.

Kan udah 16 taun, pola pikirnya juga harus naik level dong hehe.

So, makasih ya untuk semuanya. I really had a blast 2 days ago <:D. Higher quality pics menyusul ya, entah kapan, yang punya kamera PCnya rusak soalnya. GWS ya.

Sekali lagi, makasih ya untuk semuanya.
Disa Houzuki

Too Much Can Be Too Much

2011-09-25T18:59:00.006+07:00

Post ini banyak berhubungan sama post Choir Chaos. Jadi kalo belum baca, check it out first.

In that post, I've told you that this weekend gue ga jadi ikut both lomba padusnya diknas dan debate di PEDC SMAK 1 Bandung. Tapi gue baru inget kalo hari Rabu sampe Sabtu minggu ini juga ada lomba debate di SMAK 3 Penabur. Supaya ngga-ikutnya-gue-di-lomba-padus-dan-PEDC tetep worth it, gue akhirnya turun ke debatnya SMAK 3.

Sekolah gue, SMAN 81 Jakarta, nurunin 2 tim. Tim A isinya Radit, Karen, Indra. Mereka seangkatan sama gue. Tim B isinya gue, Kak Gaby, dan Kak Mita. Bisa dibilang gue payah sendiri di tim kalo ngeliat senior gue hehe-_-. Kenapa gue se tim sama mereka? Turns out that hampir semua anggota EC 81 udah pernah setim ama senior, dan itu berguna banget buat belajar. Cuma gue yang belum, sementara ini mungkin lomba terakhir mereka, udah pada sibuk gitudeh. Jadi.... Ya gitu. Hehehe.

Singkat cerita, setelah 3 hari lomba, yang masuk final malah 81 A dan 81 B. Kemaren satu sekolah head-to-head di final jadi berasa latian ekskul biasa, cuma pindah tempat dan adju nya professional hahaha. In the end ga heran kalo yang dapet juara 1 adalah tim yang ada seniornya. Best Speaker juga yang dapet Kak Mita. Jadi, gue cuma hoki setim sama mereka....

Left-to-right: 1st winner (me, Kak Gaby, Kak Mita) and 2nd winner (Karen, Radit, Indra)

Kita seneng bisa nyumbangin 3 gelar sekaligus buat sekolah ~~dan dapet duit~~. Tapi bukan ini sebenernya yang mau gue ceritain. Sepulang dari SMAK 3, gue dapet BBM dari Tya, yang tau how much I felt forgotten in choir club.

"Wey dis, bener kan semua ada hikmahnya. Ga ikut lomba padus malah menang lomba debate. Kece bangeeeeeet team 81 juara 1 sama juara 2 gituuuuh. Anjir kasih two thumbs up (y) (y) You should be proud of it hihi kece bgt ih 22nya malah saingan di final gt"

Gue malah sedih bacanya.
"Ty, gue masih mau paduuuuuuus :("

Balesan dari Tya inilah yang buat gue meaningful.
"Yahh Dis, debate needs you more, maybe.."
It's like, gue sadar, selama ini gue terlalu maruk. I have to accept that there's a place where I belong and there's a place where I don't.

Gue sadar, untuk bisa berkarya, people's recognition is not really necessary. In my case, gue masih bisa belajar nyanyi tanpa harus tergabung di suatu grup dan diakui orang, dll. Ini juga berlaku buat hidup orang lain. Dodon pernah bilang, "ada hal yang emang ga ditakdirin buat jadi milik kita". Dan selama itu ga ngehambat potensi kita untuk menggapai mimpi yang lain, ga perlu sedih...

(Tapi tetep aja sedih sih hehehe)

I'm just gonna reach another star.
Disa Houzuki

Another Post Titled 'Tres'

2011-09-21T21:31:00.003+07:00

This post is not about my failed sketch above or something. Counted since we made up to undergo a more serious relationship, today is my 3rd mensiversary with this fat ass.

People said the 3rd month of a relationship is sort of 'checkpoint'. Means when you've passed it, the risk of failing will be decreased. Dodon and I think that we haven't faced really serious problem in these past 3 months, except our distance. So we're really optimistic that we can make this through.

We both don't wish for more than a long and lasting love.

So, again, happy 21, Don!
Disa Houzuki

Big Wave Festival

2011-09-21T20:49:00.008+07:00

I listen to their songs. I love all of them. I idolize them, and let the world know I do. I write about them whenever I could in places such as this blog. Without ever seeing them live.

Yesterday was my chance to finally meet them.

I was already shaking when I was still on my way from school to GBK, alone by taxi. Arriving early gave me the chance to stand in the second row in the beginning of the show. The stage set up was so far the best over concerts I've attended.

Yellowcard opened the show. Even though I only know about 3 Yellowcard songs, I enjoyed their performance because their genre is fun to be brought on concert.

After an hour of Yellowcard's performance and half an hour of waiting the next show preparation, the moment I had waited for about 4 years finally came.

Panic! At The Disco came up to the stage and opened their show with Ready To Go (Get Me Out Of My Mind). I finally got the chance to move forward to the first row!!! It felt like this was P!ATD's own concert since they brought so many songs. I don't remember the number, 'though, I was too excited to pay attention to little things. I sang along all of their songs, glad I remember all of the lyrics. I screamed at the top of my lungs, causing my voice to be lost. Pretty sad they left the stage without giving encore.

I was planning to watch Bad Religion also, but shortly after P!ATD show ended, bunch of big men pushed me hard so that they could be in the front. Realizing the characters of Bad Religion audiences, I decided to go home afterwards.

Overall, the concert was worth more than the price. Last night was beyond awesome.

In the end, I love P!ATD even more.
Disa Houzuki

Ramadhan? Transport?

2011-08-09T20:59:00.002+07:00

Hai. Hari ini udah hari ke 9 Ramadhan. Hehehe telat banget ye gue baru ngepost, yang jelas puasa itu mantep, sementara ga puasa ketika yang lain puasa itu gaenak. Hehehe kenapa? Lo kalo haus gabisa asal minum. Apalagi kalo di sekolah. Kantin ga ada yang buka, konsekuensinya gue harus bawa bekel dan makannya di kapel, numpang sama anak-anak Rohkris. Gue currently lagi ga puasa.

Lalu, kenapa puasa asik? Pertama, lo ga perlu sarapan. Menurut lo statement barusan penting ga? Bagi gue itu penting banget loh. Imagine kalo lo biasanya sarapan di mobil pas on the way sekolah, sekarang lo di mobil bisa bobok. Atau kalo hari libur mau pergi, bisa bangun telat terus tinggal mandi dan berangkat. Mungkin perubahannya ngga kerasa signifikan di hidup kalian tapi itu berasa banget di gue. Abisan.... Gue makannya 2 jam sih he he he.

Ngomong-ngomong soal 2 jam, sebenernya habit gue yang ini emang nyusahin sih hehehe (kapan berubah tjoy). Kalo saur, gue harus bangun lebih cepet dari muslim dan muslimah pada umumnya, dan sampe sekarang nyokap masih belum ngebolehin gue berhenti makan pas imsak (kalo makan gue belum abis). Bolehnya berhenti pas adzan subuh aja, itupun biasanya pas adzan subuh saur gue belum abis -_-. Gue sedih sebenernya, gue juga pingin kaya orang lain, berenti makannya pas imsak. Oke ehm....... itu sebenernya gue pingin berenti pas imsak lebih karena gue males makan he he he.

Hal lain yang asik dari puasa adalah... sekolah pulang cepet. Kalo di hari biasa gue pulang jam 15.15, sekarang gue pulang jam 13.25. Mungkin selisihnya emang cuma sekitar 2 jam, tapi 2 jam itu worth banget, apalagi buat tidur hehehe mana katanya tidur pas puasa itu nambah pahala yak? Sabih banget. Udah gitu juga kalo puasa tuh pulang sekolah ngga kecapean, masih cukup seger buat ngerjain kegiatan lain, yah paling aus aus dikit aja. Beda kalo ga puasa, jam setengah 4-an tuh pasti udah tepar banget. Akhirnya sampe rumah cuma bisa tidur bentar, itupun ngga puas.

Lagi-lagi, gue rasa yang ngerasain dampak se signifikan itu cuma gue, mengingat rumah gue emang rada jauh dari sekolah. Entah sih sebenernya segini jauh apa engga, tapi rata-rata temen sekolah gue langsung bilang "anjrit jauh bener" kalo gue bilang rumah gue di Villa Nusa Indah. Punya rumah jauh yang nanggung tuh serbasalah banget. Mau pulang naik angkot, tepar. Ojek, mahal sekitar 30.000-an. Mau pindah rumah ke deket sekolah? Ga segitunya juga hahaha.

Saat ini gue pulang sekolah biasa naik ojek. Waktu SMP (FYI SMP gue ga jauh dari SMA gue sekarang) gue pulang naik angkot, tapi nyokap bilang kalo sekarang ga bisa kaya dulu lagi. Capek, macet, bikin sakit. Jadi yaudah harus bayar mahal pake ojek. Kemaren-kemaren sempet ada yang sering jemput, iya yang gembrot dan jerawatan ~~dan sayangnya ngangenin~~ itu, tapi bentar lagi dia udah ga di sini. Dodonnya sekarang kuliah di Unsoed, jurusan HI, jadi yaa mau gak mau dia ngekos di Purwokerto terus kita LDR 500 km deh hehehe. Terus ketemunya 6 bulan sekali deh hehehe. Kok jadi curhat. Intinya gue balik ke ojek deh akhinya.

Kok lama-lama malah jadi ngomongin ojek ya ini? Tadi kan ngomongin puasa hahaha. Yaudah. Udah dulu yak! Kalo dilanjutin tambah random.

Selamat berpuasa
Disa Houzuki

Tres

2011-07-31T16:49:00.006+07:00

*sorry for this ugly piece of junk. This was made using pen. No eraser.

Finally, my blog reaches the age of 3 years. 3 years, dude, it's fucking three! So many changes, so many posts were made. It was all started from this weird post on July 31st 2008 and now it has grown this big.

Big enough? No.

Wish I could pamper my beloved blog with a better decoration or changes in its special day. But I'm too lazy to do such things :p so I'll treat the readers instead. If you have some suggestions about what I should do with my 3-years-old blog, say it straightforward. Comment comment comment!

So, happy birthday, bloggy. Oh and let's welcome Ramadhan tomorrow, anyway.
Disa Houzuki

Words to Keep In Your Head

2011-07-28T20:06:00.007+07:00

When hugs and kisses are not my highlight of the day but your presence and caring are, I call this love. We're so different, but opposites attract. So my hope keeps growing, and I never look back.

Everyone is special and weird in their own way, so do we. Our weirdness will never meet 'cause we're weird in different way. But who cares? It's okay if we see things from different sides as long as we're looking forward to the same direction. Direction.

Then when we got direction I'll need you to be my guide. Walk me to the place we're pointing to. Protect me from the bumps in the way. I don't let you take the risk alone so I'll be there whenever you need someone to hold in your hard times. I love the way you make me feel needed. I love the way you let me know that you want me by your side. If my feeling for you is stronger than ever, that's probably because you succeeded to make me feel that I'm the one for you.

I'm the one for you? You're the one for me. I don't love people to brag about them, not anymore. People may got swag, but no one will take my eyes off of you. You make me feel comfortable yet keep me curious. You make me hunger of everything about you. You're mysteriously charming that I don't wanna miss a single thing you do. You got me fall into your arms.

Now whether it's wrong or right, I want you to be my last. I'm trying to keep this love for you, as long as I can, and accept you just the way you are. I want you to stay true with yourself 'cause that's what I need. I need the whole you.

With everything, I adore you, Bambang Ardhito Ramadhan.

Harry Potter in 99 Seconds

2011-07-24T21:24:00.004+07:00

Found this ass-kicking video on YouTube. Lol.

Looking forward to hearing any good news from cinemas, anyway. Yeah. When will HP7 part 2 be available?!

Disa Houzuki

Regret

2011-07-18T22:20:00.006+07:00

"Last year's wishes are this year's apologies"

(I'm Like a Lawyer With the Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You) - Fall Out Boy)

Soda Gembira

2011-07-17T18:11:00.002+07:00

Gue udah seminggu di kelas XI SOS 2. Baru seminggu udah punya nama kelas. Soda Gembira (Sos Dua Gembira). Entah ini kreatif ato ngga kreatif sama sekali -_-

Waktu pertama masuk kelas ini, atmosfirnya bener-bener baru. Anak-anaknya pada asik, tapi kalo lagi belajar ya belajar. Hari pertama masuk, kelas ini udah nyampur kalo dibanding kelas lain yang (katanya) masih ada blok-blokan. Kalo ngakak bareng Sos 2 udah berasa nonton OVJ.

Oiya di sini gue ngga deket sama some particular people. Tiap moving juga sebangku gue berubah-ubah. Seringan sama Difa kaya waktu kelas 7, ato sama Kirbul. Ato sama Bangzet. Ato sama Jaja. Yah intinya randomlah.

Terus kemaren itu ada tes buat anak-anak sos yang masih batu pingin ke IPA. Terus gue ngga ikutan masa wkwk. Aneh banget sekarang hati gue kaya mantep ke sos gitu, padahal dulu pas tau masuk sos malah nangis hahahaha bego. Mungkin gue emang ga begitu tertarik sama bidang-bidang yang ditawarin sama sos. Tapi gue sadar diri kekuatan gue emang di hafalan, dan pelajaran IPA rada ngebebanin gue. Mungkin waktu gue SD gue kuat di bidang itu, tapi as long as I know sekarang semua udah berbalik. Gue mau ngedalemin apa yang gue bisa, apa yang gue kuasain, supaya chance buat sukses di bidang itu juga lebih tinggi.

So... that's it. Gue rasa gue nantinya bakal sayang banget sama Soda Gembira.

Disa Houzuki

Repetition

2011-07-17T18:01:00.004+07:00

2010, to a former love.
"We don't love people to change them"

2011, to myself.
"We don't love people to change them"

Untitled

2011-07-09T19:23:00.004+07:00

Ketika gue ngetik post ini, gue lagi sendirian di rumah. Orang tua sama adek gue lagi pergi ke rumah baru tetangga. Intinya, tetangga gua selama bertahun-tahun sekarang pindah rumah ke komplek yang lebih cakep. Jadi keluarga gua nengok. Kenapa gue gaikut? Capek tjoy abis nginep di rumah Alfistya, ngerjain orderan bisnis sampe malem ama doi. Unyu gak? Unyu dong.

Sebenernya ini rumah agak horror malem begini. Ngomong-ngomong film horror yang terakhir gua tonton itu Insidious.

Gue itu orangnya ngga bisa dan ngga boleh nonton horror, tapi Insidious ini gua tonton gara-gara Dodon maksa minta ditemenin nonton itu di bioskop. Don, ketauan banget modus lu, ngajak nonton horror biar gua nempel ama lu kalo takut kan? Wuu. Akhirnya selama nonton gua sama sekali ngga liat setannya, tapi gua tetep ngerti plotnya loh. Keren ga? Keren ajalah. Kan gua tau kapan setannya mau nongol, jadi gua merem di saat yang tepat. Intinya gua ngga takut deh jadinya :B

Lagian ngapa juga mesti takut? Right now di BBM gue lagi ditemenin Bangzet alias Karin, Karin ituloh yang pernah nampang asal lewat di post gua yang ini. Anyway soal dia, pembagian kelas udah keluar loh walopun masih liburan. Gue seneng deh sekarang gue resmi jadi anak XI IPS 2 di sekolah gue. Lebih lawaknya lagi gue sekelas sama Bangzet, sabi bet ini.

Oiya gua telat nyadarnya kalo hari ini tanggal 9 Juli, sejak 2 taun lalu smpe beberapa bulan yang lalu gua selalu nunggu tanggal ini dateng. Tapi sekarang udah engga, perasaan orang bisa berubah kan? ;) hehe seneng banget kalo sekarang gue beneran udah bisa fokus ke bang Donski Kerbauski. Eh doi BBM kaga ye?

Omaigat setelah ngetik kalimat barusan gue langsung cek hp.Yassalam hp gue ngerror, nasip banget. Ah jadi ga mood, yaudah segini dulu aja.

See ya!
Disa Houzuki

A Well-Thought Second Chance

2011-07-02T15:57:00.004+07:00

No one rolled it seriously at first. Yang cowo, cuma nyari pelarian. Ngga pernah sayang beneran. Sementara yang cewe, meskipun sayang, tapi fokusnya terbagi. Masih sayang mantan. Masih berat liat mantan dimiliki orang lain. There was no one to blame that time. Both couple made mistakes. So the girl made a move to get out from that worthless relationship.

Semua orang tau cerita yang ehm, rada ngenes itu. Temen-temen si cowo mungkin jadi punya pikiran kalo si cewe gampang banget diboongin. Sementara temen-temen si cewe jadi tau parahnya si cowo.

Keadaan tetep gitu sampe si cowo sadar sama apa yang pernah dia punya, yang sekarang udah ilang. "You'll never know what you had until it's gone," kalo kata orang bijak mah. Cowo itu sedih. Cowo itu galau. Ngga tau apa yang harus diperbuat, karena dia tau, he had lost the girl's trust. Tapi ngga afdol kan kalo belum usaha apa-apa? So there he went, ngontak cewe itu kembali. Bener aja, cewe itu jadi apatis. Ngga ngasih respon positif.

Alesan cewe itu ngga mau kembali masih berhubungan sama perasaannya yang belum ilang-ilang ke mantannya. FYI cewe ini pernah balikan sama mantannya dan endingnya ngga begitu bagus, jadi dia agak susah diajak balikan lagi even sama orang lain. Cewe itu bilang ke si cowo, ngga mau mistake keulang lagi, katanya. Percuma kalo balikan tapi masalah lama nya masih ada, katanya. Butuh time space buat ngelupain mantan dulu, katanya. Alesan itu somehow ngasih harapan kosong ke si cowo kalo dia bisa nunggu si cewe move on. Padahal si cewe ngga janji dia bakal balik ke si cowo setelah dia ngelupain semuanya. Si cewe ga bermaksud PHP. Tapi si cowo tetep batu. Dia nunggu. They also remained friends.

Kali kedua si cowo ngaku kalo dia masih ngarepin si cewe balik, cewe itu memang udah lupa sama mantannya. She said finally she could stand on her own feet. Tapi... perasaan cewe itu ke si cowo keburu ilang. Dan dia tetep ngga bisa yakin sama si cowo. Sekali statusnya pelarian, dia bakal tetep jadi pelarian, kan? Cowo itu jelasin, perasaan cowo itu baru numbuh di akhir hubungan fail mereka waktu itu. Dan makin kuat justru ketika cowo itu udah ga sama si cewe lagi. Bikin nyesek. Halah, bullshit, pikir si cewe. Si cewe masih mikir kalo cowo ini mau nipu dia lagi, mau mainin dia kaya dulu lagi. Akhirnya cowo itu pasrah, terus ngilang. Yang bikin si cewe jadi ngerasa bersalah.

Tapi insting cowo itu bilang kalo dia tetep harus usaha. Dia muncul lagi. Awalnya si cewe jadi mikir kalo cowo itu dateng kalo ada maunya doang. Tapi lama-lama, cewe ini merhatiin, kok cowo ini sampe segitunya pingin dapetin dia balik? Kalo dia emang ngga serius sama si cewe itu, kenapa dia sampe segininya? Udah dilempar jauh tetep aja balik lagi. Ga mungkin cowo ini main-main.

She let her feeling grow once again, and let the boy 'get in'. Dia mulai ngerasain urgensi untuk ngasih cowo ini second chance. So there they went. There's no more "no" on the third time the boy asked. It was June 21st, 2011.

Officially Don's, officially closing this post. Cya.
Disa Houzuki

Leaving Some Subjects

2011-06-24T22:51:00.001+07:00

I am in social class.

I can't deny that this is shocking. This is not my choice. This is my school's. I picked science class, but unfortunately my score isn't good enough to go there. But when I first found out that I'm being put here, I managed to keep calm and smile. In my eyes, in spite of its stigma, social class isn't that bad, even though I ain't so good at social. Moreover, social class in my school is the best in my city, and social students are fun. It is surely promising, and I should be proud to be a member of it.

The situation was okay until people asked me about my future. I know I was a bit overwhelming, but I couldn't hold my tears that time. I didn't know what I will be when I grow up. Since I was a little kid, my passion has been set to science and arts. People tried to calm me down. They gave me some job suggestions related to social. But fields like socio-politics, law, economics, accountancy, or psychology are definitely not my things.

However, I believe what people said. Eventually, the member of classes will be mixed in the college. Your class program won't matter anymore. And there are still 2 more years to explore or build plans for my future. Instead of refusing options which are there to choose, I should take my time to learn about them. In the end, maybe I could find the right field for me. Finally I could accept my school's decision.

Now I'm currently aiming to study graphic design or literature. I might have the chance to be successful in those fields. Who knows?

"We are social, we are special"
Disa Houzuki

May(day)

2011-06-01T11:58:00.006+07:00

Today is the first day of June and I'm not going to tell you how this year's June was started. Look back a bit, I wanna say that I'm utterly glad to know that May has officially ended.

Things didn't go too well this May; I was facing various bumps everyday. But the worst of all was when I was facing serious problem about my pride and people's judgement. Few things ridiculously happened and got figured out, without me knowing how. And I was the only one to blame.

You know, it's really hard to convince people that you're not guilty, when actually you don't know exactly how things that made you looked guilty happened. People come with proofs and you don't even know how those proofs exist. It might sound like an alibi, but the fact is, it isn't. So I finally spoke up to fix things up, trying to clarify with such a foolish face, telling the world I don't know anything.

They said it's useless - people who don't trust me won't ever trust me even after I give them explanations. Fuck off, I didn't care about the result, whether the world would trust me or not. I didn't even know if people who said it's useless were actually on my side or not. I just spoke up to show the world that I'm a gentle(wo)man or whatsoever I am. I just wanted to show the world that I'm brave enough not to run away. But was I making things worse?

Now people who have heard my explanation may have slowly forgotten about their earlier prejudice. But how about people out there who just know what was going from mouth-to-mouth? Now I'm like neglecting the problem, leaving it all and pretending nothing was happened. I don't know and I don't effin' care, I'm putting them aside as the May ends.

This reminds me that well, I never had great May over years. I still can picture how May 2010 went gloomy as I lost people I utterly love and some favorite things. I'm too lazy to remember older May, 'though. It's still a big question, how they all happened repeatedly in a same month for years. Blaming a particular month is super-super-silly, I know, but I'm feeling the urge to emphasize how much I hate May.

So, as those dark days are over, I only have one wish.
MAY I have a better MAY next year?

Disa Houzuki

Late Night Doodle

2011-05-29T01:15:00.007+07:00

1.35 AM and still wide awake. When phone sucks and there's nothing left to do, I carelessly doodle

with my low-quality optical mouse.

Disa Houzuki

20 Random Questions

2011-05-27T23:19:00.008+07:00

I have no bloody idea why I am doing this -_-

1. Do you like your hair long or short?
Tough question. It looks better long and feels better short.

2. Has someone ever told you they would be with you forever?
Yeah

3. Last person you were in the car with?
Alfistya (Does public transportation count?)

4. Any plans for tomorrow?
Visiting my friend's house

5. How long does it take for you to take a shower?
About 15-20 mins lol

6. When is your birthday?
September 28th

7. Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
Who knows?

8. What’s on your mind RIGHT NOW?
This question, for sure -_-

9. Who was the last person you talked to?
Mom

10. What is the WORST subject they teach at school?
..........sociology?

11. Have you ever been in a car accident?
Fortunately nope

12. Whats the closest thing to you that’s green?
Err this is... sort of thick paper.

13. Where would you like to be right now?
Dunno

14. Write down some lyrics to the song your listening to?
I knew at least that i might have the chance to catch a shooting star

15. How far away is the last person you kissed?

Probably few kilometers away

16. Is there someone you care about more than yourself?
Friends. Family.

17. What made you laugh today?
Too many to mention -- actually I can't remember any single reason why I laughed today -_-

18. What was the last movie you watched?
Severance

19. How is life going for you right now?
At least better than last year

20. What were you doing at 7:00 this morning?
Sitting alone outside a classroom

Disa Houzuki

Orang-Orang Ini

2011-05-26T18:25:00.004+07:00

Satu.

Mungkin semua orang pernah ngalamin ngerasa terasing di antara sekerumunan orang. Istilah kita nya dikacangin lah. Being lonely when you're not alone, somehow feeling ignored. Semua pasti tau gimana ga enaknya ada di posisi orang yang terlupakan di sebuah kelompok. Para petinggi hepi-hepi, lo ngerasa ga dianggep.

Tapi pernah ga, ketika kita kebetulan lagi di posisi yang lebih tinggi, di tengah crowd yang orang-orangnya kita sayangin, kita sadar ada orang di bawah kita? Mungkin biasanya kita terlena karena kita ngerasa udah temenan sama mayoritas crowd, terus yang minoritas ngerasa kita ga nganggep mereka, walopun kita ga pernah bermaksud kaya gitu.

Sebenernya serbasalah kalo ada di posisi ini, karena kita juga tau ga enaknya jadi mereka. Tapi, apa yang terjadi kalo mereka bener-bener nyalahin kita, terus jadi ngamuk, nge-curse crowd yang ada?

Orang ini, orang ini marah sama sekumpulan orang-orang yang dia anggap belagu, ga sadar dia di bawah. Bukannya minder, dia justru benci sampe ke ubun-ubun. Then, what happened next? She cursed the whole group. Lalu nganggap seisi kumpulan itu, kumpulan orang-orang yang aslinya sayang dan mau have fun sama dia itu, hinaaa banget. Ngeri masbro.

Sebenernya, kalo dia engga nganggap kita ada, kita sih bisa aja balik ga nganggap dia ada. Tapi, kita kan aslinya pingin ngerangkul semua isi kumpulan manusia-manusia itu, termasuk dia. Emang enak kalo di dalem kelompok gitu ada yang marah sama kita karena misjudging dan misunderstanding?

Kalo mau diambil hikmahnya, gampang sih. Di posisi manapun lo berada, yang penting rendah hati aja kaliya. Kalo di atas, down-to-earth. Kalo di bawah, jangan su'udzon. Tapi kalo udah terlanjur kaya gini, lo mau apa?

...

Gue berusaha tersenyum. Hasilnya nihil.
Akhirnya sekarang orang itu cuma lewat di depan gue kalo gue nyapa.
Tanpa balasan.

Dua.

You remind me of a former love
That I once knew
And you carry a little piece with you.
(I Have Friends In Holy Spaces - Panic At The Disco)

Cinta itu menurut gue hal yang sakral. Engga boleh dimain-mainin. Tapi umur se gua mah masih wajar kan orang main-main masalah beginian? Mungkin lo juga pernah. Di sekeliling gua juga banyak yang gituh. Mheheheh. Biasanya, orang yang awalnya ga serius suka dapet ganjaran gitu deh. Tapi kalo ganjarannya nyesek gimana?

Orang ini mungkin cuma salah satu di antara banyak orang yang ngalamin hal yang sama. Orang ini ngejalin hubungan sama orang lain, simply karena si orang lain ini ngingetin dia sama seseorang yang pernah dia sayangin dulu. Entah mukanya atau sifatnya. Bukan murni karena orang ini sayang sama pacarnya. Sedibet ye pacarnya orang ini wkwk.

Walaupun asalnya dia ngejalanin hubungan ini tanpa feel, orang ini lama-lama sayang sama pacarnya. Sayang beneran. Bukan lagi sayang sama orang di masa lalunya yang mirip pacarnya. Dan di saat perasaan cinta itu mulai tumbuh dari dalem orang ini, pacarnya mulai nyadar kalo orang ini tuh ga niat jalanin hubungan sama dia, jadian sama dia bukan atas dasar sayang. Terus pacarnya minta putus deh. Orang ini pasrah deh.

Akhirnya, sesuai naluri manusia, orang ini berusaha dapetin second chance. Tapi mantannya, yang udah sadar orang ini kebetulan emang sifatnya ngga cocok sama dia, jadi ngga mau balikan lagi. Even when she knows he (finally) loves her now. Orang ini terus berusaha, tapi mantannya batu. Akhirnya orang ini hopeless. Nyerah, dan ga berusaha ngontak mantannya lagi. Kayaknya dia memang ga berniat temenan sama mantannya. He just wants to be her lover. Ini membuat mantannya jadi ngerasa kehilangan orang ini -- ga ada yang gangguin hari-harinya lagi.

Apa yang lo tangkep dari cerita ini? Orang ini cups karena ngontak mantannya cuman kalo ada maunya doang? Orang ini brengsek? Atau mantannya terlalu batu? Sebenernya emang salah orang ini, main-main di awal-awal. Tapi ngga salah-salah amat juga sih, aduh plin plan banget ya gue -_- abisnya perasaan kan ga bisa dipaksain. Kalo ada ya ada, kalo ga ada ya ga ada.

Tapi, kalo coba dibayangin, gimana seandainya orang ini sedari awal sayang sama mantannya? Masih mungkin kan mantannya betah sama dia, terus bisa langgeng sampe kakek nenek?

...

Akhirnya, sekarang orang itu entah kabarnya gimana. Mungkin marah, kecewa, galau, nyesek, entahlah.
Satu hal yang gue tau, ga ada yang perlu gue pertanyakan lagi.
Karena dia bener-bener bungkam. Sekarang.

Tiga.

Di sebagian besar persahabatan antara cewe dengan cowo di fase pertumbuhan remaja yang labil ini, pasti muncul sedikit bibit-bibit cinta. Kata yang paling tepat ya cuma satu: unyuuu. Salah satu bukti paling konkrit di hidup gue soal ini ya lovelife gue sendiri. Mantan pertama gue asalnya sahabat gue. Ga penting juga sih dibahas, udah pada tau ini heheh.

Mungkin kisah-kisah ini juga terdengar klasik. Sahabatan sama...
1. Orang yang mau nyomblangin lo sama gebetan lo
2. Orang yang jadi tempat curhat lo soal gebetan atau pacar lo
Terus ujungnya lo malah jadi suka sama orang itu haha.

Dan biasanya, hubungan cinta sama sahabat itu akhirnya ga happy ending. Yang paling sering sih nanti pacaran, terus putus, terus engga sahabatan lagi deh. Salah satu bukti konkritnya ada di lovelife gue lagi. Ehehe.

Tapi kali ini gue ga mau bahas hidup gue - ini lagi-lagi kisah tentang sese-'orang ini'. Orang ini, adalah orang yang enak diajak curhat. Dia woles banget kalo ngobrol sama lawan jenis. Sama lawan jenis bisa seru-seruan dan asik-asikan, dengan feeling tetep flat, ga kege'eran, dan ga gampang melting.

Ada orang yang suka banget nyari orang ini kalo pingin curhat soal orang yang dia sukain. Sahabatanlah mereka. Bisa ditebak akhirnya gimana. Orang ini jadi sayang banget sama sahabatnya.

Asalnya, orang ini sayang sebagai temen aja, tapi lama-lama jadi lope lope gitu. Orang ini memang harus nahan sakit tiap sahabatnya curhat soal orang yang disukain si sahabat tadi itu. Orang ini berpikir bahwa dia pasti bisa nahan sakitnya dan pada akhirnya bisa dapet akhir yang bahagia. Karena, emang terlihat ada kesempatan untuk bisa bikin sahabatnya ini ngebales perasaan orang ini. Sebenernya beberapa orang ngga setuju karena katanya sahabatnya ini rada ga bener. Tapi orang ini keburu sayang sama sahabatnya apa adanya -- termasuk sayang sama kekurangannya.

Masalahnya gimana kalo sahabatnya ini ternyata jerk/bitch banget? Later, it seems like sahabatnya ini cuman menggunakan modus 'sahabat' untuk ngedeketin lawan jenis. Lalu, orang ini cuma salahsatu di antara boneka-boneka yang dia mainin. Sahabatnya psycho, mamen.

Orang ini jadinya gabisa berbuat apa-apa. Dia sedih karena udah berharap terlalu banyak dari sahabatnya. Orang ini ngerasa di-php-in. Game over.

Sebenernya miris sih emang cerita ini. Keliatan banget sahabatnya yang jelas salah, tapi orang innocent ini yang nanggung sakitnya. Mungkin ini buat pelajaran aja kaliyaa buat yang lagi kesengsem sama sahabat sendiri, kita ga boleh berharap terlalu banyak. Kadang ada orang yang emang cuman ngarepin kebaikan kita sebagai teman aja dan ga ngarep sesuatu yang lebih dari kita. Inget, "ga bakal ada orang php kalo ga ada orang kege'eran".

Selain itu, oke gue tau ada quote "jangan biarin orang ngatur hidup kita, karena yang jalanin kan kita". Tapi sometimes kita harus dengerin juga pendapat orang-orang, supaya kita ngeliat sesuatu dari sisi yang beda-beda. Walopun perasaan kita ga bakal hilang.

Terus orang ini gimana?

...

Ntahlah, gue ga tau lagi perasaan dia sekarang gimana. Semoga aja next time dia dapet orang yang lebih baik, bukan orang yang ternyata cuma mainin dia doang.

Disa Houzuki

Oh Man, This Is Dynamic Era

2011-04-19T09:36:00.002+07:00

I'm always touched by people who can keep love for years without ever having people they love. Some of you would probably call them pathetic, but I wouldn't. Instead, YOU are the pathetic ones.

Take Severus Snape's love for Lily Potter as an example. I'm not a Harry Potter geek, but of course I know that love story. How Lily ended up with James and have Harry, and how much Snape was hurt. How, in spite of Snape's bad relationship with James and his zero chance to get Lily, he still made a vow not to move on for the rest of his life. And how he really did that.

Okay, that's fictional. But that kinda love really happens, even considered ordinary, centuries ago, right? This may sound cliche, but I believe it's true love. Love that doesn't have to own. Love that will be happy when the ones we love are happy, even without us.

That kinda love ain't suicidal nor masochistic. It doesn't hurt because the happy feeling comes from the heart. Love is forever beautiful. If you feel hurt seeing the one you love happy with someone else but call it true love, well, you're a big hypocrite.

Then, what saddens me? It's the fact that true love is rare nowadays. Let's see. If guys or girls these days fall in love, they generally AIM to try getting people they love as his/her bf/gf, right? It's not wrong if they wish they could always be on people they love's side, by putting a clear status in their relationship. But it's pathetic how 99% of them would move to another people if there's no chance to have the people they love before. It's like they put a mindset that the goal of love is owning people they love, and if they can't pursue their goal that way, they should try another way; another people.

Of course there are still people who love without expecting return. But in this dynamic era, we're forced to always change. If we decide to stay, probably people around us will encourage us to forget those people we can't have and move.

True love is pure. Just love. Without something behind it.

And even though it's almost impossible,
I'm still wishing this thing existed these days.

Disa Houzuki

Say Something. Say Anything.

2011-04-18T14:29:00.003+07:00

"Don’t allow yourself to get too jaded too soon. Sometimes
the simplicity of words can bear the most weight and most
meaning. Say whatever you want, however you want,
whenever you want… as long as there is something real
behind it." - Alex DeLeon

(Note: in case you don't know Alex DeLeon, he's the vocalist of American pop-punk band, The Cab. Great one. He has an inspiring blog over there www.symphonysoldier.com)

Vices & Virtues - Review

2011-04-09T18:16:00.000+07:00

I know I'm late. I've heard the whole album but I didn't post a review about it earlier cus I'm too lazy to use my PC. Hehehe.
This post will be my last post about this, so, here's what I think about Panic! At The Disco's latest album, Vices & Virtues.

Basically, when I first listened to this album, I noticed something different. Of course I should've predicted it earlier. Because afterall P!ATD only consists of Brendon Urie and Spencer Smith now. This is what I hate from broken-up band <\3
Yeah, Ryan Ross and Jon Walker's departure surely made a big loss. Ryan Ross is well-known for his brilliant lyrics. If P!ATD's earlier albums tell us many complicated story, well, in this album, you won't find such thing. Instead, their lyrics sound more..... romantic, eh? No no, 'romantic' is not the best word to describe it. In indonesian word, it's galau HAHAHA.

About the music, well, of course they still sound vintage. Vices & Virtues features a variety of different musical styles in its tracks. Some tracks sound so rock-ish while others are vaudevillean. They still stick to their old genre. Like I've said, it's like the combination of their first and second album. But it sounds more like the first one. I personally prefer the first album, 'though. If you want music that sounds a lot like their second album, try listen to The Young Veins. (It's Ryan Ross and Jon Walker's band, in case you don't know. -____-). So, don't they have something new in this album? They do. If you pay more attention, you will notice more minor melodies here.

Here's the track list.
1. The Ballad of Mona Lisa - 3:46
2. Let's Kill Tonight - 3:33
3. Hurricane - 4:25
4. Memories - 3:25
5. Trade Mistakes - 3:36
6. Ready To Go (Get Me Out Of My Mind) - 3:37
7. Always - 2:33
8. The Calendar - 4:43
9. Sarah Smiles - 3:33
10. Nearly Witches (Ever Since We Met) - 4:16

Best track? Pretty though call. :/
My ears are currently stuck to Trade Mistakes. Try the first 3 tracks and Ready To Go for upbeat tracks. Feeling like reminiscing the past? Memories, The Calendar, and Trade Mistakes are great, 'though they can easily ~~bikin lo galau~~ sway your mood. Always is the simplest one, and it's beautiful. Really. Sarah Smiles sound like ordinary song you'd write for your girlfriend, and Nearly Witches is..... complicated (?)

Ok therefore you should give this album a try. I give it 4 stars out of 5.

That's all. By the way I'm currently in high fever. So, have a nice and healthy weekend.
Disa Houzuki

Easing The Burdens

2011-04-03T20:04:00.004+07:00

Things were going well.

I've passed the mid-term test. Yesterday was the last day. Not a really important day actually, yesterday I had to go to school just to have German test (meanwhile days before I had to have 3 tests in a day). But I'm glad it was over. At least I don't have to study hard anymore. Wait. Well.... Actually I didn't study hard for the test, so it's sorta ridiculous if I say that thing -_- hehehe. And yeah, I've seen some of the results so far. This mid-term test is an epic fail. I even failed in English. But I just take it lightly, 'cause life should be led happily.

What did I say? -_-

Another topic. I broke up. On our 2nd mensiversary, which is on April Fool's Day -_-. Pretty quick, isn't it? The reason is quite complicated. But our ~~gloomy~~ past take a big part. And this breakup brings a betterment. They're right, single doesn't mean lonely. So, goodbye. Have a great life, Don.

Anyway, I went to Seaworld yesterday. I was utterly excited like a child. The last time I went there was when I was in elementary school. That time I didn't know much about animals. I was just amazed with their looks. But now, as I've studied more about those sea creatures at school, I'm more wow-ed when I see them. For example, I thought polips won't move before they become jellyfishes. So, yesterday, I was surprised to find out that polips actually move (without changing their position) wonderfully. The movement is like jellyfish's for sure, since they are in the same phylum.

I also went to a little circus. Kinda surprised to see a sea lion who has a same name with my first love LMFAO.

So, that's all. Kinda stuck :/

Disa Houzuki

Comparison

2011-03-23T17:20:00.003+07:00

Who's skinnier? HAHAHAHAHA

(L-R: Alexa Chung and I -- with censored face)

People said both of us have anorexic bodies, but none of us suffers anorexia for sure -_-
If people with anorexia prevent themselves to eat, I always eat anytime I wanna eat. The problem is, I seldom want to eat. And my current weight is 41 kgs. Is it... normal?

What do you think?
Disa Houzuki

School Profile!

2011-03-23T16:59:00.004+07:00

It's already March. It's been a year since I first enrolled to my current school, SMAN 81 Jakarta. Does time fly so fast? ._.
Now my school is opening registration for new students. Concerning that my blog readers might be in 9th graders and searching for a right senior high school in Jakarta, well, this is my school profile video HEHEHEHEHE. (promosi masbro!)

I admit that homeworks and assignments in my school suck. But soon after events like LTUB, TO, outbound, and stuffs were held, I realize that this is the best school I've ever studied at. And how's the video? Does it picturize how fun my school is? Yeah, I think. You won't regret if you join us here, in SMAN 81 Jakarta.

So, interested?
Disa Houzuki

That Sunday

2011-03-22T21:19:00.003+07:00

was a good day to stop living someone else's life and start concerning mine. Ignore the little heart attacks. Nothing is impossible.

Noticing How Bloggers Are Growing Up

2011-03-16T03:42:00.001+07:00

Bloggers around me are getting maturer and wiser. They used to write things I usually write, like daily dose of dramas mixed with jokes and experiences. But now, as time goes by, they start posting such inspiring blog posts and stuffs. Moreover they start thinking more deeply.

I don't know if some of them are actually just bunch of posers, but hell, this make me realized that I'm already 15 years old. Bloggers my age are how I'm supposed to be. Growing up. I'm still the same kid from your memory. The one who is childish and proud of it. But I see that now people consider 'childish' as a negative word, and therefore I should stop using this word.

I really respect maturity (due to the fact that I can't reach it). But however everyone changes, I won't be the philosopher type of blogger. Even though my friends love my inspiring advices, I suck at moving people. If I make posts that are beneficial to other people it would be reviews or tutorials instead.

I know my readers are mostly strangers and won't give a damn about my life. But I still enjoy writing posts that are centered in me. My life. Somehow I feel good being different by staying the same for years. I never. Wanna. Grow up.

This is me, and accept me just the way I am. Otherwise, don't read any single word I write.

Sincerely
Disa Houzuki

Definitely Worth A Try

2011-03-15T11:40:00.002+07:00

Collect yummy snacks and drinks. Lock yourself in your bedroom alone for at least 36 hours. Lay in your bed and spend the first 2 hours thinking about all the current problems in your life. Use the rest to sleep or play with your cellphone (make sure you have access to network and internet). Skip school if necessary. Talk with people via phone, but never go out from the room if people in your home call you.

Everyone needs a relaxing day off like this.
Disa Houzuki

The Overture, The Ballad of Mona Lisa, You Name It

2011-03-13T17:21:00.003+07:00

Again, spamming about Panic! At The Disco.

So yeah I just watched Panic! At The Disco's short film, The Overture. It's a video to introduce the upcoming album, Vices & Virtues. It features music from four songs on V&V.

I'm glad to know that they care for their fans, care enough to make such a short film about the journey they've been through in their way to make this album. The breakups, the f*ck people gave about them, etc, etc... Epic. The background music itself sounds good and enough to picturize what's in V&V. In this album I bet they successfully mix the characteristic of their two previous album.

Oh and I'm curious. Where was this video taken? Is it a good place to take a vacation? LOL cus I'm always in love with this kinda classical, vintage town. Brendon has a good acting skill anyway. Kay that's all for this video :/

Anyway, I've bet you've heard The Ballad Of Mona Lisa, their first single from V&V. But have you paid attention to the music video?

From the church in Victorian era setting to various camera shots, oh man, I miss I Write Sins Not Tragedies.

Spot the similarities?
But about the meaning, well... the truth is... I still can't figure out the meaning of the music video. HAHA -_- of course I understand the lyrics, which is like this:

But the video... idk. I'm not a smarty-pants. So, if you've got some thoughts about this, tell me. Click 'comments' and it's all done okthanksbye.

Have a great weekend
Disa Houzuki

Making A Book With Japanese Bookbinding Technique

2011-03-13T16:41:00.005+07:00

Curious about how I make the birthday gift in the previous post? Here's how.

For this project, you will need:

blank paper (30-100 sheets, depending how thick you want your book)
card-board - 2 sheets, for front and back covers
pretty paper - 2 types, for inside and outside of covers
ribbon - a few meters
hole-punch
glue stick
scissors
ruler
bull clips

Step 1 Lay out your blank paper. You can use as many or as few sheets as you like. I think 30 sheets is a good size for a photo album. For a journal you probably want 50 or more.

Step 2 Cut out a sheet of cardboard exactly the same size as your blank paper. Draw two vertical lines on the cardboard. The first line should be 1" (2.5cm) from the left edge, and the second line should be just under 1 1/2" (exactly 3.5cm) from the left edge.
Repeat for the other piece of cardboard.

Step 3 Using scissors or a craft knife, cut along the the lines you drew in the previous step. You basically end up removing a thin (just under 1/2" , or exactly 1 cm) strip from each piece of cardboard.

Step 4 Cut out two pieces of nice paper for the outside of the covers. Each piece should be 1 1/2" longer in each direction than the blank paper. Place one of your nice sheets of paper face-down, and draw a 3/4" border in pencil all the way around.

Front

Back

Step 5 Use your glue stick to glue the cardboard onto the nice paper, so that it lines up with the border you drew in the previous step. Make sure that you cover the whole face of cardboard with glue, not just the edges. Do the same thing for the front cover.
Fold the corners over as far as they'll go, and glue them in place. Do the same for the other cover.

Step 6 Fold the edges in, and glue them in place too.

Step 7Cut out two sheets of paper for the inside of the covers. The pieces should be should be 1/2" smaller than the blank paper.
Then, glue the paper onto the inside of the covers.

Step 8 Punch two holes on all the paper for the book (the blank paper and the cover). One of them should be 1 1/2" from the top of the book, and the other should be 1 1/2" from the bottom of the book. They should both be about 1/2" in from the spine.

Step 9 Now it's time to do the actual binding, which is the really clever part of the Japanese way of how to make a book.
You'll need a piece of ribbon that's 6 times as long as the book is tall

In case you can't play the video, here's a step-by-step series of pictures showing you how to do the binding.

Source: http://www.homemade-gifts-made-easy.com/how-to-make-a-book.html

Good luck!
Disa Houzuki

Happy Birthday Dodon

2011-03-13T16:21:00.007+07:00

Okay it's kinda late but last friday was my boyfriend's 18th birthday, so let's wish him all the best.

That day was actually an epic fail day haha. He was full, so he just ate the birthday cake a bit(e). And he couldn't bring it home because he always goes home by a motorbike. So what should we do? I've paid $5 for that cake! Lol. Finally he called his ~~barbaric~~ friends to eat all the miserable cake. And guess what? They finished it in an hour. So that day turned into burst of laughter.

And I gave him this so-called Random Book for this year

It's 100% handmade and costs Rp 0. It's filled with everything about us and birthday wishes from our friends. And well..... he hasn't read that book by the time I'm writing this post hahaha -_-

So okay that's all. I'll add more photos later.
Disa Houzuki

When The Clean Met The Dirty

2011-03-07T22:55:00.005+07:00

Dodon: yaang

Disa: kenapa?

Dodon: aku boleh minta sesuatu dari kamu ga?

Disa: apaan dulu nih?

Dodon: ga macem-macem kok

Disa: terus apa?

Dodon: aku kasih tau setelah kamu bilang iya

Disa: gamau bilang iya kalo belum tau apaan.

Dodon: yaah beneran ga aneh-aneh kok

Disa: tapi kasih tau duluuuu

Dodon: tapi bilang iya duluuuu

Disa: ga mauuuu bilang duluuuu

Dodon: I beg you to

Disa: I won't answer

Dodon: please.

Disa: -__- yaudah iyadeh, kesian. Mau minta apa?

Dodon: Aku minta kamu mandi sekarang.

P.S We've passed our 1st mensiversary, anyway ☺

This Week's Random Report

2011-02-26T17:05:00.006+07:00

This week is a pretty... errr... let's say... unique week. I've been going up and down like a yo-yo.

If I write what I was feeling in the beginning of this week, it will be much like an extension of my older post, I'm Afraid of Falling Again. The difference is just, things got worse. But later, I found out that the best way to solve my problem is communication. That simple. Communication destroys all my prejudices. I talked to them. My 'past' and my 'present'. Those conversations took away my worries perfectly. Now, I feel better. I feel high. I feel a big euphoria. I feel W O W. And since this problem was over, the other little problems flew away. Those problems I've been keeping myself. Maybe this was caused by my happy mindset.

Anyway, yesterday a beverage brand held an event in my school. I attended some workshops, but I just paid attention to the photography workshop and the one that talked about working for a magazine. Apparently I felt a strong passion to work for a magazine, particularly teen girl magazine, 'though I won't put myself in the main field there, journalism. If I really aim to work for a magazine, I'd probably work as a graphic designer or even stylist. But I still have much time to think about this.

Oh and A Rocket To The Moon's gonna hold a concert in Indonesia.

My neighbor (who is accidentally my schoolmate as well) and I are planning to buy the tickets. I even had a dream about attending their concert. Twice.

Still, I'm afraid one of my last year's biggest regret will happen again. I can still remember how sad I was when my parents didn't allow me to go to All Time Low concert. I had worked hard to get that ticket (and to meet my beloved Jack Barakat. LOL). It felt so painful when I knew I had to sell it again.

Stop talking like a drama queen, Dis -_-

So, to end this post, I just want you to wish me luck. Otherwise, you're gonna see a 'menye' post about the miserable Disa who can't watch A Rocket To The Moon live. -_-

See ya later

Disa Houzuki

Oreo Truffles

2011-02-16T09:35:00.003+07:00

I clicked the 'New Post' button on my dashboard to write a post about Green Hornet movie, but now I decided to post some Oreo Truffles recipes. Hahaha -_- Why oreo truffles? Because they're super easy to make and even easier to eat haha.

So, here are things you will need to make an oreo truffles.
1 package oreo cookies (divided. Use the cookies, put away the cream center)
1 8oz. package cream cheese (softened)
White chocolate bark for coating (optional. If you want dark chocolate for coating instead, there you go.)

Making the balls

Finely crush cookies in a food processor or place them in a ziploc bag and crush into a fine consistency. Reserve for later.
Mix cream cheese and 3 cups cookie crumbs until well blended
Roll the mixture into 48 (1-inch) balls and place on wax paper covered cookie sheet.

Melting the chocolate
Place unwrapped chocolate squares in microwaveable bowl. Microwave on HIGH 2-1/2 min. or until chocolate is completely melted, stirring every 30 sec.

Coating the truffles
To easily coat truffles with the melted chocolate, add truffles, in batches, to bowl of melted chocolate. Use 2 forks to roll truffles in chocolate until evenly coated. Remove truffles with forks, letting excess chocolate drip back into bowl. Place truffles on prepared baking sheet; let stand until firm.

Refrigrate 1 hour or until firm. Store in tightly covered container in refrigerator.

Since cream cheese is pretty rare in Indonesia (and also pretty expensive -_-), here's the ingredients to make oreo truffles without cream cheese.

Things you'll need:
Crumbled oreo cookies.
1 1/2 tablespoon of orange juice, but any other juice is fine. (I use Country Choice's Goji Berry juice. Tastes nice.)
1 tablespoon of honey or corn syrup
Anything for coating

Mix, shape, dip the mixture like stated in the recipe that uses cream cheese.

Crumbled oreo cookies are supposed to look like this

And, here’s what they look like before they're dipped into the chocolate

(I also made some heart-shaped truffles for Dodon on Valentine's Day, shihihi)

Shihihi those mixtures end up like this

Source: kraftrecipes.com, bakerella.com, Uncle Google.

Disa Houzuki

Dodon

2011-02-16T08:33:00.006+07:00

In case you don't have any idea about the word "Dodon", read this post. This time I'm gonna write in Indonesian. Gapapalah sekali-sekali, kan udah lama. Sabar aja yang ga ngerti hehe. I recommend you to skip this utterly long post though. I write just because I feel guilty not to write about this in my blog earlier. So... it's up to you.

I'm Afraid of Falling Again

2011-02-14T18:17:00.001+07:00

I'm not denying that the shadow of my past is still haunting me. Maybe the pure love has faded away, but the feeling of possessing is still here. Jealousy and the pride of ever having that rascal. I never wanna look back, but the fact is... I still care. Because I still meet this person (and everything related to him) in a daily basis.

To make it worse, I'm now owned by someone I don't wanna hurt. He loves me just the way I am, and you know the feeling is mutual. I won't let him go just because things I can try to shoo. But I can't keep this dirty secret to him, I feel the urge to tell him everything, otherwise I'll feel guilty. So......... Well that's it.

I asked him to take me to a long journey and make me stick to him. I asked him not to let me see the road I've left behind. He has to convince me that everything ahead is more promising. But these words, my own words, reminded me that the future brings us somewhere we don't know. It's still possible that I've been walking in a circle, which means I'm gonna meet the same end line like the one I've passed before. I wanna believe that we can make this through, but the risk of disappointment will be much increased.

I don't want to stop counting our steps in the sand .

They're right. Goodbyes are hard to deal with.
But starting over is more difficult.

Karma

2011-02-08T09:58:00.005+07:00

"On the Day when every soul will be confronted with all the good it has done, and all the evil it has done, it will wish there were a great distance between it and its evil. But Allah cautions you (To remember) Himself. And Allah is full of kindness to those that serve Him" - Q.S. Ali Imran: 30

"For every action force there is an equal and opposite reaction force" - Isaac Newton

I do believe that every action has its consequences. But I never thought the effect will be much significant in the world (before the day of resurrection). Up to now I've constantly done many things, and people have constantly treated me in many ways. Then, recently, I feel like I'm hit by both good and bad karma.

An example of this would be the way my new friend treat everyone. She's annoying, she has a bad personality, and she has tried hard to get friends. But still, people (including me) never wanna deal with her. Then I think, is it possible that I once was like her? Maybe that's the reason why I can hardly get friends. Now I'm trying to fix myself, and voila, school doesn't seem like hell anymore.

Another example of this comes from my current BF. He's such a passionate partner. There are pluses and minuses in the way he treats me, and recently I realized that he treats me like I treated my ex. Exactly. This makes me understand why my ex sometimes avoided me when we were still together - too much love can also burden people. And I'll try not to repeat the same mistake to my current BF. Ha.

Maybe these aren't karma at all, it seems more like 'exchanging roles' or whatsoever that triggers introspection. I have more examples but since this blog is a public consumption, I'll keep them myself. Supposing this thing is also called karma, we should beware of our own actions, 'cause someday maybe we can be 'hit' by our own deeds. I proved it.

So, that's all for now.
Disa Houzuki

Random

2011-02-02T08:25:00.004+07:00

I'm writing this post just to escape the boredom. I'm at school and the subject right now is ICT so I'm free to use the computer xxxxx

So how's your day, fellas? Oops it's still too early to ask that kinda question 'cause it's 8.31 AM haha but I'm feeling good, 'though I'm also a bit bored. The subject in my class before ICT is fine art. We created mosaics and I was tired of sticking pieces of paper to the medium, over and over again. Duh.

Have I told you that I'm officially committed? No? Haha well this is still a fresh news. He used to be one of my seniors whom I used to see around school. I've known him months ago and we were getting closer in the last 2 months. After I was single, to be exact. But everything happened all in a sudden. 01022011, B. Ardhito Ramadhan.

So yeah umm back to the ICT thingy. My teacher just told us to insert some equations to a Microsoft Word file, that's today's lesson.

..............

I've finished my task.

Kinda unimportant.

Umm I can hear cough sounds from my classmates, maybe flu is mushrooming these days. Hmm this room is so cold but I love the scent, it's like umm.... nothing. Uh it's getting colder dude I'm afraid the temperature will make my body catch the flu easier. Rrrr rrrr brrrrr.

Oh the bell is ringing. Gotta go.
What a random post.
Disa Houzuki

Vices & Virtues

2011-01-30T12:38:00.008+07:00

After Panic! At The Disco's latest album, Pretty. Odd., at last they're gonna release their new album, Vices & Virtues. Of course you know their fans wouldn't like to wait for so long, including me. The album will be released this spring.

This is their first album without Ryan Ross and Jon Walker. I don't really like Ryan Ross actually, but can they make powerful lyrics without him? I hope. This album has been described as having an upbeat pop energy of their first album, A Fever You Can't Sweat Out, with the focus and clarity of their second album, Pretty. Odd. Since it seems like a good combination, I'm really looking forward to hear it.

Their first single, The Ballad of Mona Lisa, will be released in the next 2 days! Gonna prepare my ear for this, so I can predict how the album will sound like.

That's all for now, have a nice weekend.
Die-hard fan of Panic! At The Disco

Refreshed!

2011-01-30T12:28:00.003+07:00

So, in short, I really had a blast this week. Woohoo.

The beginning of this week was full of homework, but thanks God I could get rid of them because of the competition I was joining. Yep I joined a debate competition again, this time at SMA Regina Pacis Bogor. It made me have to skip school for 3 days, which means........ NO HOMEWORK AND ASSIGNMENT YAY.
Of course debating isn't easy, it kept making my heart beat fast. Less time, more things to be prepared. Anxiety, that's all I was feeling. But still I prefer debating than doing school stuffs, 'though you have to think more in debate.

Well, my team didn't win, but at least we made it to the quarterfinals. This is my best achievement so far, and we're really improved, so I still wanna thank God so much. Another team from my school made it to the semifinals. They usually win competitions, so this is just because of bad luck, perhaps. But there's still many things that can make us smile and laugh during those 3 days. :D :D :D

On Friday finally I went to school again, haha. But there's no any important subject that day. So I just had fun with my friends that day, and practicing for the oh! Yeah there's another competition this week -- roleplay competition at SMAN 112 Jakarta bunkasai.
Since I skipped school in the previous 3 days, I only had a day to practice. The competition was on Saturday. My roleplaying mates and I just practiced for some hours, ahaha. We didn't aim to win, we're already hopeless. Memorizing the scipt was so difficult, it's in Japanese T_T

So Saturday came. My role was performing as a Japanese teen, so my costume was a bit in harajuku style. Don't laugh. -_- Lololol we found some Japanese hottie at the bunkasai! Ahahahah my teammates were fangirling there...
And then came our turn. We performed nervously. Then we have to wait about 4 hours for the announcement. Actually I wanted to go to Mall Taman Anggrek (that's just a kilometer away from the bunkasai) to kill time. But sensei didn't let me, so I became utterly bored.

Just skip the unimportant things. We won the 1st place O_O lololol we didn't even aim to win. Our school also won the manga competition. Hahaha of course getting something we didn't even expect leads to big happiness. We're smiling all the time, on the way back school, on my way back home.

If only I had these things every week, my life would be much happier dude.

Catchyalater
Disa Houzuki

(today is my ex's birthday. January 30th this year feels weird since I don't prepare any surprise for him anymore. haha)

#Dante

2011-01-30T12:15:00.006+07:00

I miss living with them. Seriously. ♥
I really wanna thank my high school, SMAN 81 Jakarta, for holding this memorable event called Trip Observasi. I'll never forget these folks 'till I grow up.

Disa Houzuki

What's Wrong With The Atmosphere?

2011-01-23T11:44:00.007+07:00

I'm gonna make this junk post quick.

How's it going, mate?

At last, I can take my whole soul back to this big city. Do you know what I mean? In my latest posts I felt like half of my soul was still in Desa Hambaro -_-

Have I told you that my class has 7 newcomers? S e v e n . Kinda crazy. They were my last hope, and I was right. School feels no longer like jail since they came. They're fun, 'though one of them is annoying. But hell, I still have no motivation to study. To make it worse, this semester is the most crucial part to determine where I'll be going. I still hope July comes earlier, 'though it means........ nothing nothing it's too early to talk about it. Well, this paragraph is not what I'm going to tell.

I don't like the atmosphere of the class, probably physically, no matter how fun people there are. At break time you won't see me in the classroom. Instead I'll be going nowhere, talking in the canteen, reading some books or playing computer in the library. Maybe Pak Gatong, my headmaster at JHS, was right. Monotone atmosphere creates boredom. He solved the problem by painting the school colorfully, 'though it's kinda tacky. But it's impossible to do at my current school. I'm planning to add some new ornaments in the class, but hell there's moving class system.

I started to think back. Does the boredom really start from the way the room looks? Or is it because of the people inside? Nope, my classmates are okay so far. Does it start from myself? NOPE. Still don't know what's wrong.

Boo.

Gonna try to contact interior designer.

Sorry I'm lying.

Gonna try sleeping this off. Bye

Disa Houzuki

White Jumping Object

2011-01-23T11:21:00.000+07:00

Spotted in Desa Hambaro during TO.

Check 00:56. Some people said it's a nametag that reflected fire light, but others believe it's a.... pocong (sort of Indonesian ghost). The atmosphere was already creepy, since there's a funeral near the field. What do you think?

Disa Houzuki

Back from TO!

2011-01-19T08:34:00.003+07:00

GUYS FINALLY I'M BACK HAHAHA (calm down, dis, calm down).

TO was really great! It might be because we didn't have to do those sucking daily routines. But that's not the point -- TO built a really strong bond among #pensador. We were living together in a village, 24 hours each day, so everytime we got out from our 'home' what we could see are another #pensador members or the villageans. C o o l .

#Dante and I have been together through all the obstacles we met in Hambaro, Leuwiliang, Bogor. From making charta, exploring the large village, arguing with our seniors, and so on. We also got some awards, such as Best Charta and Best Team Leader (DitoCaessara FTW!). There's too much to tell 'till I don't know where should I start, if you wanna know #pensador's TO memories you can search #kenanganTO & #pensador or check @pensador_81 on Twitter.

Seriously, I'm out of words. TO was too great to be told.
And now I'm back to real life. I'm here now. Jakarta. Living my hectic life. Sometimes I just wanna go back to Hambaro with my beloved #Pensador but well... That's not the place where I belong. Here I am. Homework are piling up. I arrive home at 6 PM everyday because of the traffic jam. Too many upcoming competitions. These things are driving me nuts.

Seriously Jakarta citizens need to live their lives without rush, like villageans. From TO, I've learned that money can't buy happiness, the poor can be happier than the wealthy.

I guess this is all I can say about this great event.
See ya.
Disa Houzuki

Harder Than You Know

2011-01-12T08:49:00.002+07:00

This is one of my fav cheesy rock songs in my playlist. I stopped listening to this kinda songs when I was on 'rehab' (you know how I was 'broken' last year), but it's safe now hahaha so I put them on again. Oh and you should check the great acoustic version :) here's the lyrics.

Harder Than You Know - Escape The Fate

You said this could only get better
There's no rush cause we have each other
You said this would last forever
But now I doubt if I was your only lover

Are we just lost in time?
I wonder if your love's the same
Cause I'm not over you

Baby, don't talk to me
I'm trying to let go
Not loving you is harder than you know
Cause girl you're driving me so crazy

How can I miss you if you never would stay?
If you need time I guess I'll go away (I'll go away)
Inside me now there's only heartache and pain
So where's the fire? You've become the rain

Are we just lost in time?
I wonder if your love's the same
Cause I'm not over you

Baby, don't talk to me
I'm trying to let go
Not loving you is harder than you know
Girl you're driving me so crazy

And if you don't want me than
I guess I'll have to go (I guess I'll have to go)
Not loving you is harder than you know
(Yeah)

So I'll make the call
And I'll leave today
I'm gonna miss you cause I love you baby

And I'll make the call
I'm leaving today
And leaving always drives me crazy

Leaving always drives me crazy

Baby, don't talk to me
I'm trying to let go
Not loving you is harder than you know
(Yeah)

Baby, don't talk to me
I'm trying to let go
Not loving you is harder than you know
Cause girl you're driving me so crazy

And if you don't want me than
I guess I'll have to go
Not loving you is harder than you know
Girl You're driving me so crazy

Baby, don't talk to me
I'm trying to let go
Not loving you is harder than you know
Cause girl you're driving me so crazy

P.S. I don't intend to recall past memories by talking 'bout such song haha.
Disa Houzuki

I'm Not The Picky Type

2011-01-05T09:39:00.001+07:00

So people come and go, but true friends remain.
The one who chooses them, is the destiny.

Happy New Year 2011!

2011-01-01T15:43:00.003+07:00

So yea it's already 2011 now. It means this blog is already 2,5 years old! But that's not the point hahaha. Happy New Year, you guys!

How was your New Year's Eve? Mine was not bad. I just arrived home from a vacation to Puncak with my neighbors, started from Thursday. Well that wasn't really exciting, but I love how the atmosphere there is very different than we got in big cities. It's green everywhere. The air is way fresher. And the temperature is so damn cold, it even chilled me to the bone haha.

We stayed here. (kay my mom didn't take this photo from a good angle)

I once swam in that pool but the water pressure (and temperature, perhaps) hurt my ears. My ear drum, to be exact. That was a really weird accident. I even had to let water vapor enter my ear. I don't know how it works, seems like it has something to do with the air pressure. But yeah, it relieved the pain successfully.

We visited Kota Bunga and Cimory during this vacation. You have to know that my neighbors went there just to take photos and shop stuffs hahaha. We also planned to go to Taman Wisata Matahari, but there's no time. So we didn't go.

The new year's eve party was a bit lame, but it was still better than not doing anything at all. We played games. We got prizes. And at 00.00 we watched fireworks. Puncak Sky was filled with wonderful fireworks that night, too bad I didn't took any photos of them.

So that was my New Year's Eve. Let's move to... New Year stuffs hahaha.

First, do I need to review 2010? Umm okay here I go.

2010 was an adventurous year, too many bumps I got along the way, but that's what made it fun. A lotta things happened and changed my whole life.

National exam. I studied hard for this. My beginning of 2010 was very busy because of this, hehe. The test itself was full of manipulation. People cheated. I didn't care, I did it 100% by myself. My score ain't good enough to make me a student of my current school, but thanks God there's another way to enroll there: through test.
RSBI test. I enrolled to SMAN 81 Jakarta for some reasons: its good competitions, its social life that ain't so different with my junior high school's, and stuffs. The test was friggin' difficult, but thanks God I made it anyway.
Leaving #Altisimo. I didn't realize how much I love them 'till we're all separated :( Anyway, thanks for coloring my junior high school life.
My on-off relationship with my former love. 2010 was a very rough day for us. We've been struggling to keep this going but later we found out that this wasn't healthy nor worth to fight for anymore. We went on and off for 3 times until I decided to end it 2 months ago. But I'm proud I used to be his. :)
Senior high school, adaptation, and stuffs. This is the hardest part of my 2010. I thought my senior high school is not so different with my junior high school since it's only hundreds meters away from my jhs. I was wrong. Every student here is smart as hell (?). Some of the teachers are ignorant but they have golden hands to make high-quality students ._. finding friends here is super difficult but finally I find them among the #Pensador members. The true ones.
Finding true friends. Nuff said.

There's many more actually but I know you'll be bored with too many detail. So, about the resolutions... Just make it simple. 2011, be a better year please! More happiness, less sorrows. My specified goals for this year are:

Getting good grades and rank in class, at least 10th.
Taking science class, perhaps, since I'm not so good at social and I'm aiming for art or science major in college. If you wonder why my social subjects grades are good, well, it's because the social teachers use magic o_o just ask me or #Pensador directly for details.
Learning new things. Learn, not study. So it means new abilities. Sometimes I wanna try to learn how to make DIY things, sing well, play synth, and more random things. I hope this will replace my bad habits.
Living my life peacefully. Nuff said.
Getting the chance to be 16 years old. Nuff said.
Seeing all my wishes come true. Amin.

Special tribute: 'though I'm currently in love with no one and I surely have moved on, well, this is the first special (special = just for me, not anybody else) New Year greeting I got this year.

Yeah, thanks for coloring my 2010 too, dude. I hope you'll find someone to color your 2011 soon :)

So, have a nice year everyone.

Disa Houzuki

This Doesn't Feel Like Holiday Afterall

2010-12-26T20:45:00.006+07:00

It's already the end of the year. The time students were waiting for. The time I'm supposed to take a vacation and escape the daily routines. But dude, I'm not so excited to 'greet' this holiday. Why? I don't know either.

My school report ain't bad but I got a low rank. But I don't give a damn about it. My friends are all too smart (no wonder, it's the 3rd best national SHS in Jakarta) and I just have to deal with it. Hehehe -_-. I also got the psychotest report, which is sort of 'Aw this is so meee!'. Just like I've guessed, it recommends me to take science class, and it says my interests are in aesthetic + scientific + musical. My IQ score is not so bad as well.

Then came the TO (Trip Observasi/Observation Trip), an event my school will hold on January 13rd. It's like... staying in a village for 4 days with my beloved #Pensador. We'll learn how to mingle and live with villageans, learn to be independent, and stuffs :/ it haven't started now but the preparation is haunting my holiday... *tears falling*

#Pensador is divided into 23 teams. We'll work together and share almost everything (house, food, etc) with our teammates. I don't get a serious role in my team, #Dante (<-- inspired by an Italian poet named Dante Alighieri), but I'm pretty active there.

I spent my 5 days of holiday making nametag. On the first and second day, I made a copy of the master nametag for our team members with my team leader. Kay his name is Dito, but not Cokin -_- let's call him Ditocaes starting from now. (Until now I still wonder why my ex and my team leader's name had to be same -_-) Those 2 days were super exhausting, dude. Working with about 50 people in a house was krayzeh, but we had fun as well on those days. Lotsa stupid thing happened. I'm just too lazy to mention them here HAHA :p

On the 3rd 'till 5th day I made nametag for myself, and so did each member of the team. We just have to copy the nametag I've already made with Ditocaes. This is the first time I found out that my teammates are funny! All of them. HAHAHA. I'm sure I ain't gonna be desperate in TO if I have them around me. Love you #Dante :B

And when I finished my nametag, the business wasn't over -_- I have to write script for our team. We have to perform a MUSICAL DRAMA IN THAT FUCKIN EVENT. DAAAAMMMMN! Tomorrow Imma meet my teammates again to talk about this. Umm maybe not with all because most of my team members haven't finished their nametags, and they have to continue their work together tomorrow. Maybe it's gonna be only Ditocaes and I. -____-"

Despite these hectic weeks, our family still had time to visit my grandma(s) in Bandung. I've just got home tonight. Maybe I should take a rest because tomorrow's gonna be a busy day, again.
But I'm sure what I've done during this ruined holiday will be paid off. I'm sure my team and I will have a great time in TO. I just can't waiiiiiittt 'till it comes!

So, I wish you a happy and not-so-busy holiday! Hahaha-_-
Disa Houzuki

When There's No Inscribed Rules

2010-12-18T12:42:00.003+07:00

People DO have different mindsets. So when we're trying to please some people, we could upset others. And if we try to please everyone, it won't ever fvcking work, we'll just upset ourselves. That's why this life is screwed up.

The Rising Family

2010-12-17T17:19:00.006+07:00

Not Painful At All

2010-12-17T16:05:00.007+07:00

What's so great about reminiscing the past is that you feel hurt and blessed at the same time.

Cheesy conversation in the end of 2009.
Girl: You will stay for me, won't you?
Boy: Yeah, for sure
Girl: You won't leave, will you? *crying*
Boy: Of course dear, are you frustated or what? *wiping girl's tears away*
Girl: I'm just... really afraid of losing you.
Boy: Listen. I love you, and I will always do. You will be here. Forever. *pointing at his chest* Now, will you believe me?
Girl: *smiling*

Junior high dudes are so naive, that's why everyone had a great time during junior high school. As we're growing, well, we're leaving those good days behind and only carrying the regrets. But we still smile everytime we remember how we used to be, right? ;)

Disa Houzuki

PS: Moving on is not easy anyway :(

SM*SH

2010-12-09T23:22:00.002+07:00

Can't stop laughing everytime I think why I put this topic in my blog -_-

Well, this video has been Indonesian teenagers' hottest topic these weeks. Raising its popularity from YouTube, this Indonesian boyband make people believe that Indonesian boys also got talent hahahahah. They get many thumbs down as well, some said they impersonate Korean boyband too much. Hehehe. who cares. I'm neutral.

So, this is SM*SH, with its single, I Heart You.

Note: it's highly recommended that you watch the parody version after watching the original one hahahahah.
Oh maybe I should also put it here.

That's it HAHAHA. Both are enough to cheer you up, right?

Catch ya laterrrrr.
Disa Houzuki

I'm Getting Used To Things Around School

2010-12-08T16:40:00.001+07:00

School. So this is me when I'm at school. I have almost no friend in the class but have plenty outside that room. And now I'm getting used to this. I hang out with them, those friends outside. I'm happier when I'm with them. And then I realize there's still so many people who will always be there for me. They're so precious, more precious than a lover that will easily come and go, just like money....

Lover. Boyfriend. I don't have any at this moment. It's been 2 weeks. Now I'm getting used to see my ex around school, talk to him as friends like nothing has happened between us, like that one year relationship never exists. It feels really weird in the beginning, you know... But later I realize that this is part of the process to go forward. I'm not attached to him anymore, I just have to leave it behind like he has already done....

Friends. Friends take a very important role in my ex's life. Friends are his first priority, I was his second, and it hurts, this is why I decided to end it. Sometimes I wonder why he can get used to be single quickly, and now I end up with this word again. Friends.

Maybe I just have to continue trusting these people that offer their hands for me and their shoulders for me to cry on. He can do it, why I can't? These people are there to share their problem with me, right? Now I'm thinking about making friends as many as I can outside the class, and forget how my current classmates consider me. Maybe I can start this early so when 11th grade comes I've already got them around me....

This is actually a pointless post. Just wanna write what I have in my head.

Ttyl
Disa Houzuki

Final Test

2010-12-06T12:14:00.009+07:00

Sorry for leaving this blog with that "Fin" post as the newest post, my friend even said, "sebenernya yang fin itu relationshipnya apa blognya?" -__-

Last week I just had the final test for this semester, and this week is remedial week. I've already seen most of the result, and it's... eww just check it out.

Minimum score: 80 except religion (82,67) and sociology (70). Pretty high, isn't it? Yeah I love SMAN 81 Jakarta so much. *sarcastic*

Day 1
Physics - 83,3
Sociology - 77
Geography - 82,5

Day 2
Math - 63,3
(answered 11 questions randomly and the rest seriously. Later found out that all of my 'serious' answers are correct)
Religion (Islam) - 62,5
(worst score ever on this subject. Islamic laws are too many to memorize but I still have faith...)
History - 82,5

Day 3
Chemistry - 63,3
(suddenly wanted to poo during the test and had to hold it. Couldn't focus on the test)
ICT - 90

Day 4
Biology - 86,6
Economics - 71,4

Day 5
Indonesian - unknown
Civics - unknown

Day 6
English - unknown
German - 83,3
Japanese - 97,5

My final score is a bit better than the mid-term score, but the average score of science subject is decreased huhuhuhuhu.
I've been more motivated to study after breaking up, dunno why, maybe I'm too bored that I have nothing to do but studying. No more texting with him. No more stalking. Et cetera. Oh and I become fatter each day because I eat snacks a lot like A LOT. Usually while studying. What I've eaten last week:

(the plain-flavored one)

With these snacks, my bedroom felt like heaaaaavvveeeeeeennnnnnn. He -_-
You can try these snacks if you feel skinny enough, but well... they won't help you during the test. Instead, eating too many food will make you want to poo, and it can come not in the right time. (see how I failed at chemistry test -_-)

Kay that's enough for now.
Disa Houzuki

Looks Like I Picked The Wrong Day To Quit

2010-12-06T11:55:00.002+07:00

Currently in love with this pop-punk song about relationship that gets old and finally ended just because it didn't work anymore.... This is a common case, isn't it? A couple who are still in love with each other but the problems are just too many that they can't stay together anymore? Yeah it is, just like what happened to me. .___.

Looks Like I Picked The Wrong Day To Quit - The Doppler Effect

Tonight, I'll picture you and I,
When our love was as strong as the bright burning sun,
We held each others gaze for fun.

Then came the fights,
Then came the storms,
Their shadows cast beyond our own.
But you always took me too seriously,
I'll never forget what our love used to be.

The movies don't show what happens to love when love gets old
Yeah I tried, but I just can't let her go, and
The movies don't show what happens to love when love gets old

Tonight I'll drive across state lines
To deliver a message to lay at your feet,
To show you I'll love you,
But that we can't be more than we are.
We're trying too hard.
Your shoulder this burden for so long
But you never gave me the choice in the end
I hate to be selfish but this needs to end

Then came the fights
Then came the storms
Their shadows cast beyond our own
But you always took me too seriously
I'll never forget what our love used to be

The movies don't show what happens to love when love gets old
Yeah I tried, but I just can't let her go and
The movies don't show what happens to love when love gets old

We don't have to count our steps
In the sand anymore, In the sand anymore
Just like in a photograph
Someday we'll look back, someday we'll look back
Just like in a photograph
Someday we'll look back, someday we'll look back

Then came the fights
Then came the storms
Their shadows cast beyond our own
But you always took me too seriously
I'll never forget what our love used to be

The movies don't show what happens to love when love gets old
Yeah I tried, but I just can't let her go and
The movies don't show what happens to love when love gets old, whoa
The movies don't show what happens to love when love gets old
The movies don't show what happens to love when love gets old

The ending of the song is epic btw.
Disa Houzuki

Fin

2010-11-24T13:26:00.006+07:00

This wonderful story was over last night, and I won't turn back.

I've packed all my belongings and left with no regret.
Because I know,
We're better off this way.
And something brighter for us is coming up.

Thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great.
I remain as your friend.

Bye, Dito Ikhsanuardi Ramadhan.
(090709-241110)

The World is A Big Stage

2010-11-20T20:19:00.007+07:00

Hell-o. Do you miss my daily stories? h3h3h3. I don't have any experience to be posted since last week, sorry fans (Readers: We're not your fans! boooo! *throwing tomatoes*). My life went flat this week. All I did were those disgusting daily routines and I've been struggling to pass this week without my... you-know-who (gonna talk about this later).

So, what am I bringing to you tonight? I'm half-reposting my friend's blog post about Elvis Presley's poem. Why? Because I find it pretty touching.... It affects my emotion everytime we talk about this poem, and reminds me of my miserable lovelife haha. I've read it long ago, but just asked for his permission to repost it last night.

Well, actually this is not poem at all. It's a part of Elvis' song, Are You Lonesome Tonight (I just listened to it some minutes ago). He didn't sing this part, he just read it with poem-like intonation. It's... sort of musical poem. But let's just focus on the lyrics. Prepare your tissue paper.

I wonder if you're lonesome tonight
You know someone said that the worlds a stage
And each must play a part.
Fate had me playing in love you as my sweet heart.
Act one was when we met, I loved you at first glance
You read your line so cleverly and never missed a cue
Then came act two, you seemed to change and you acted strange
And why I'll never know.
Honey, you lied when you said you loved me
And I had no cause to doubt you.
But I'd rather go on hearing your lies
Than go on living without you.
Now the stage is bare and Im standing there
With emptiness all around
And if you wont come back to me
Then make them bring the curtain down.

Imagine a big stage. Where people are standing there as actors and actresses. There, everyone must play a role that is given. And when you're there, you can't turn back in case something's not going according to plan. For example, if you forget the script, the show must keep going on. You can't stop it immediately. Because the audiences are still watching you there. They won't stop.

If you failed at your first performance, that's okay. Because in the future you will learn from your mistake, and won't repeat it. That's how actors and actresses live on the stage.

Here, this poem is about a man who loves a woman. And seems like she used to love him too, but her feeling towards him faded away. Of course the man feels empty, and desperate (I feel this too huhuhuhu). He's willing to 'end' the show, to make the 'curtain' down. But he will only take this action if he has tried very hard (and felt so much pain) to get the woman back, but still failed.

That's what you have to do when you face a failure. Actually, the world is not so different with the stage. When you're standing in this world, you should do your plan well. But in case you stumble and fall, all you have to do is keep moving forward and try hard not to repeat the same mistake. Because the whole world's also keep going. You will be left behind if you stop. And you can't make the whole world stop together with you.

That's all for tonight, hope you can learn something from this post.

Catch ya later.

Disa Houzuki

Converting to Metric

2010-11-17T12:04:00.003+07:00

Hahahah this one makes me LOL

Source: http://xkcd.com (you'll find bunch of things like this there)

Just some refreshment for you guys :D
Disa Houzuki

Respect

2010-11-17T11:02:00.007+07:00

Got this lovely award from PM, thanks dear :)

Here are the rules:

Accept the award
Post it in your blog and tag the blogger who granted you the award
Pass the lovely award to other bloggers that you've met along the way
Inform them that they have been chosen to receive the award.

This time I ain't gonna pass the award to any particular bloggers. I wanna pass this award and my respect to ALL OF YOU GUYS, fellow active bloggers. It's not easy to keep your blog fresh and updated. Especially if you've already written for more than a year. I've seen so many 'retired' blogs along the way, and I see that most of active blogs nowadays are new blogs. Or I can call young blogs. Well, I seldom take a blogwalk but I always visit everyone who dropped a comment on my post or message on my tagboard back. So, meeting those people whose blogging-spirits are still alive is not common at all. And I respect you guys.

If you feel that you're an active blogger, go take this award from my blog and post it to yours.

Don't call me lazy, I'm not lazy to find the right lovely blogs -_- I just wanna be... fair and I wanna show you that I'm amazed. New blogs are booming again! :)

And why do I put "respect" as the title? Today Imma tell you I also respect these creatures

It's Idul Adha, dude. You can see goats and cows getting slaughtered everywhere today. As a moslem, somehow seeing them makes me put myself on their shoes (they don't even wear shoes, duh). It's like a martyrdom, you know... If I have to sacrifice myself in the name of Allah, will I be ready? Well, I hope...

I think that's all.

Happy Eid Mubarak :)
Disa Houzuki

A Week Without Him Really Hurts

2010-11-17T11:00:00.005+07:00

But he feels otherwise.

Current mood: crashed, getting ready for a heartbreak.

Disa Houzuki

Psychotest

2010-11-14T20:48:00.004+07:00

When I was a kid, I like to...

Pee in my pants.

When I see a man and a woman...

I envy them.

My mom and I...

Have very different skin tone.

My biggest weakness is...

Dealing with love.

My sexual life...

In the future will be ordinary.

Things I really want to forget are...

Those fights with my boyfriend.

***

Hello folks. Yesterday I had psychotest. Well idk if the word "psychotest" exists in English because when I type it there's that "red underline which shows your spelling/grammar mistake" -_-. The test itself includes logical test, interest & aptitude test, and personality test. The test result will determine the specification major I will take next year. The options are science or social.

The logical test was... hectic. First I had counting test. Sounds easy, doesn't it? I was given some couples of numbers and I just had to add, subtract, multiply, or divide them. But I'm not so quick in counting, so when the time was up I only finished about 20 of 50 equations while most of my friends finished more than 40 equations. Duh. But when it came to memory test, I could do the test well! I had to memorize 25 words in 3 minutes and I still remember those words even until this moment.

Soka, Larat, Flamboyan, Yasmin, Dahlia

Wajan, Jarum, Kikir, Cangkul, Palu

Itik, Elang, Walet, Tekukur, Nuri

Quintet, Arca, Opera, Gamelan, U...... oops I forget this one.

Musang, Rusa, Beruang, Zebra. Harimau.

I remember 24 of 25 words :B

Then I had some spatial intelligence test... First I arranged some shapes like playing puzzles. Then I counted some piled blocks like the one you get on Who Has The Biggest Brain (every Facebook user should know this game hahaha). I'm not so good at dealing with 3D things but I'm pretty good when it comes to 2D. That's why I prefer being graphic designer to architect ._.

The interest & aptitude test clearly showed that I'm good at art, not social duh.

The personality test includes some uncompleted sentences I must complete. Well, you already read some of them above. (scroll up, it's behind the post title~). I also had to draw a person and write down his age, activity, and personality. And I drew.... ehe ehe ehe Dito :p

There were some questions about specification majors.

Specification major I would like to take (sorted by priority):

1. Science

2. Social

Why do you choose number 1?

Because I don't know what I will be in the future, so I choose the most flexible major. Blah blah blah (I forget how I explained why i choose science -_-)

Why do you choose number 2?

Because there's no more choice.

What if the psychotest result is not like the specification major you expect?

That's okay.

What is your ideal?

Graphic designer (hasn't fixed yet)

-_______-

My boyfriend wants to take social class (actually he's good at science buy maybe Physics freaks him out). Umm somehow I'm afraid if we get different majors we'll often have no topic when we talk because we don't have many things in common. Okay this isn't too make sense. Yea whtvr.

However the result will be, I'm looking forward to hear it soon.

That's all for today. My life went so flat this week. Nothing to post.

Catch ya later.

Disa Houzuki

2 Months

2010-11-10T13:47:00.005+07:00

Hell-o! Just saw the calendar this morning (is 3:00 AM called 'morning'?) and well it's already November 10th!

November
10th!

It's been already 2 months since we made up. And more than a year since we became a couple hehehe. So, Happy Anniversary. (people said monthly anniversary is called mensiversary but WHATEVER I don't really care hehehehee)

Don't wanna say too much. Just no more goodbye, please :) I know we can make this last.

Dee Bee Dee Dee Bee Dee Bum

2010-11-07T13:23:00.006+07:00

Ignore the title 'cause I just don't give a shit.

So....... How was your week? Mine was pretty hectic.

First, last Wednesday and Thursday finally I debated in a competition for the first time. As you can find out from my last post, my teammates are Bella and Indra. I was the 1st speaker and the reply speaker, Bella was the 2nd, Indra was the 3rd.

Our team was getting better and more solid each day, but still we didn't break to the quarterfinal. There were 4 rounds in preliminaries, and we just won the 3rd round (against the home team, Gandhi School). Hehehe. But that's okay, at least we got the experience. Kak Gaby and Radit also came on the 2nd day to support us. And we had so much fun during the competition. And we SKIPPED SCHOOL :B hehehe

This is speaker standings. Click to enlarge and find no. 24 :)

What else? Umm OH yesterday I got the mid-term report! Yay yay yay there were some 80s and 90s but I don't get any good grades on science subjects. Uh.

And NO, I ain't gonna scan it and post it. It's quite embarrassing. Uh.

But well my grades make me wonder what specification major I will take next year. I don't wanna take a job in social field in the future but I got low grades in science subjects. To make it worse, I have to take science class even if I wanna be graphic designer, which is not related to science at all. -__- Gonna post more about this later.

Forget about school. Yesterday I watched Megamind 3D.

What I like from this movie is the idea which is a bit out of the box. Like its tagline, well, the superhero movie will never be the same. And what I've learned from this movie is: Life will be boring if you have no life purpose. Even if you have everything else except this.

What else?

Oh! Last night my father went back from HK and brought some stuffs for our family. One of them is nori seaweed.

The photo is exactly like the one he bought for us, but we also got the one with wasabi flavour. Nah, I've never eaten the wasabi-flavoured nori before, so.... I'm quite excited to eat them. Haha! Just like wasabi, the taste is quite delicious yet shocking. And it's not hot, this is why I prefer wasabi to chili. You just have to be careful and mind your nose if you eat the wasabi-flavoured one, otherwise you will sneeze.

And this is not so important: I change my bang model.

Now it's side bang. (who cares?)

And mmm well my relationship is getting better compared to last week, but I dunno how he is today. The last time we talked was last Friday on the phone. And that was my first phone call with him after we made up hehehe so it was pretty exciting 'though we talked mostly about nothing -_-

And the last....

For the victims of flood in Wasior, earthquake & tsunami in Mentawai, mount merapi eruption,

and all the people in our country who are suffering now,

I'm giving my most sincere condolence.

Let's #prayforindonesia.

Disa Houzuki

SAD-turday

2010-10-30T16:29:00.005+07:00

So...... there will be an English Debate competition at Gandhi School Ancol next Wednesday. And today is already Saturday. At this moment I'm supposed to watch debate video or read newspaper to broaden my knowledge about recent issues instead of writing a post in my blog.

But I don't care. I'm not in a good mood. I can't think. This morning I practiced debating at school and my performance was RETARDED. The adjudicator criticized it. My teammates, Indra and Bella, have done well anyway, while I was stucked. Oh crap. Sowwy fwends ☹

Now I'm here lying on my bed, eating a big sheet of Nori seaweed, listening to Fall Out Boy's old songs. Remembering and missing those golden years. 2008. 2009. When every second in my life was worthwhile and every single little thing can make me laugh or at least smile.

I miss the time when I have my bestfriends around me, when I have my boyfriend by my side, etc. Everyday felt like a hard candy with a surprise center, and every morning I took a new candy to my mouth. Yum. So there's always new surprise, new experience in every single day. Words can't explain how much I miss junior high school dudes. They helped me to see everything from the positive yet fun side. Now everyone's gone and everything's more complicated. I can't make new friends easily. They seem to ignore and avoid me. Everyday I just sit alone at school, thinking about what I've done to deserve this, and waiting for better years to come. My boyfriend doesn't love me as much as he did in the past, and will prefer spending his time with his so-called friends instead of me. He won't think about me for only a second in a day if I don't bother him. This makes me sad everytime I remember the old times, when he spent 2 hours every 2 days walking around school with me and talking about unimportant little things while putting his arms around me. Yes he wasted so much time on me in the past, but it's still better than not doing it at all. --- ah I think I'm complaining too much. The point is, I know everything's gonna be okay in the end and it's just about time. But how long should I wait? How many months should I waste before the better years come? I'm sick of living in black and white. I'm sick of living this flat life. I want a new twist in my story. Really.

Sorry, I think I talk too much about my neverending problems recently. Maybe tomorrow I will post about how to make something, but this is all I can say today. My tears have already started to fall.

So, have a nice satnight, readers. Keep reading. Catch ya later.
Disa Houzuki

It Had To Be You

2010-10-24T14:55:00.006+07:00

Sorry for those melancholic posts, I feel 'galau' or whatever you call it lately -_-
So, to overcompensate, I'll post about a song I'm currently listening to ^^

Motion City Soundtrack - It Had To Be You

When I listen to this song, I can't stop. It's just an ordinary pop-rock song, but I love how they use the synth to make a happy twist in the music... ah I don't know how to explain it. I also love the random lyrics. That's all I can say. The end.
*Boo's and tomatoes, beer bottles thrown*
*curtains fall*

-__-

Here's the lyrics, if you need it:

I'll get lost, messed up and bored when I'm alone too long
I can't sleep, function or eat when I'm not with someone
Late last fall, she ended it all and moved to who-knows-where
Just like that, she vanished and packed and never even called

Do you feel a certain sense of synergy between yourself and me?
A kind of macabre and somber Wondertwin type of harmony
What if it was you?
You that I needed all along
I felt like a fool,
Kicking and screaming and pretending we were wrong

Let's get wrecked on pop tarts and sex and see the Taj Mahal
Let's save birds from Prince William Sound and skateboard through the mall
Let's fight crime with mangoes and limes and join the PGA
Let's win big with every spin but hurry, I can't wait

Do you spend a fortune on those late night prepaid television scams
In search of the perfect blender, steak knife and non-stick frying pan?
What if it was you?
You that I needed all along
I felt like a fool
Thinking we were completely wrong
It seemed like a dream
A beautiful scream
That echoed forever
And made us not afraid to feel a thing

And after it ends
We'll try to be friends
They say that what doesn't kill us makes us who we are

All this time and everything's changed but I still feel the same
All good things eventually end and get washed down the drain
What a disaster it would be if you discovered that I cared
A little too much for friends but not enough to share

What if it was you?
You that I needed all along
I felt like a fool
Now that I'm sure that I was wrong
It had to be you.
It had to be you.
It had to be you.
I knew it was you.

Click the link below to see the official music video. It can't be embed to this post. Darn -__-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xU1RJcfLx9Q&ob=av2n
It looks like a stop-motion video, and I love it so bad. Hehehe. Thumbs up.

So... hope you'll like it, fellas ;)
Disa Houzuki

P.S. My friend thought "Motion City" is a movie. No, it's not -__- Motion City Soundtrack is a band.

Miss Me When I'm Not There

2010-10-24T14:18:00.004+07:00

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before, she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there." - Bob Marley

I don't really know if Bob Marley ever said this or not because I found this on the net. But this is still one of my all-time favorite quotes.

I once told Dito about this quote and he said "I hope I can do it for you".
Then, that night, when I was sleeping, he tweeted "I'm sorry, seems like our relationship won't last long"

When I woke up, I read what he said and cried. Then, I asked him.

"Why did you say that?"

"I think I'm not the one you're looking for. You need someone who can accept you just the way you are, and I can't. I always make you try to lose your bad habits or stop doing things you like"

"Umm... But I've tried hard to change, improve, and be better just to make up with you. If suddenly you think that I shouldn't be with the one who can't accept me just the way I am, then those efforts were not worthwhile"

"I don't wanna hurt you more, Disa. You can look for the better one"

"I'm okay with this. I'm okay with you"

"Really?"

"Yeah. I don't wanna lose you for the third time"

It's still better if he can do those things, but he doesn't have to :')
Disa Houzuki

A Late Night Conversation

2010-10-23T18:24:00.003+07:00

"Disa, sorry for not replying your message quickly, I was quite busy chatting with my classmates. Hehe"

"It's okay. Go ahead. Continue your chat, I bet #semurjengkol BBM group is uber-fun :)"

"No. If I don't put a lot of attention to you, you will be angry like you was yesterday, won't you? ;)"

"No, I won't... Yesterday I was missing you and you didn't say any words to me. I was just... sad. I wasn't angry at all"

".....Are you still happy being with me?"

"Of course I am :D but how about you?"

"Really? Me too, but I can't love you more"

"What do you mean?"

"If you ask me how deep my love is, well... It's as deep as you can see now. I can't love you more than this"

"Well, that's okay. And sorry for saying that I couldn't stand being in a private relationship yesterday. I didn't mean I wanna break up"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I just have to wait. We won't be like this forever, will we? I believe that as we grow up there will be time when we can make our relationship public. Another day without you with me is like a blade that cuts right through me, but I can wait, I can wait forever...." *singing one of Simple Plan's song*

"Hmm, the point is, if you want to end this, just say it. I won't be angry :')"

"Don't say such thing!"

"I'm just saying"

"Hehehe I know but it creeps me out. Seriously, I will try to go through it all just to be forever with you. Support me, kay?"

"Okay :) ah I'm feeling a bit sleepy"

"Just sleep :)"

"Is it okay for you if I go to sleep now?"

"It would be very weird if I don't allow you -_-"

"Hooo okay then. Bye sweetie." *smooch*

"Goodnight. Sleep tight."

Sa-TOUR-day

2010-10-16T19:07:00.004+07:00

Wassup buddies? I just arrived at home about half an hour ago. I'm pretty tired, my legs are stiff and I'm lazy to move my body (but fingers are still okay :B)

Many shits happened today. I got a bad score (again) on mid-term test. Actually it's not so bad, it's... about 70. But the minimum score is 80 so I have to take a remedial. It's driving me mad. Then the traffic jam today is sooo retarded. And to make it worse, I failed to meet Dito for only a few seconds TT__TT

I'm totally in a bad mood this morning, luckily I met the hungry Karin. We had lunch at McDonalds after school and spontaneously decided to go to Central Jakarta by busway (my school is in East Jakarta). A couple hours later we arrived at Sency. We sneaked in because we still wore uniforms (I added blazer, she changed her skirt to jeans) HAHAHA. We bought some stuffs but mostly we were just taking a walk there.

After we went back to Kalimalang, Karin went home. I went to LIA Galaxy to meet Sapi and eat Es Krim Goreng (Fried Ice Cream -- I know this sounds weird). Eating es krim goreng had been our ritual when I was still taking course at LIA. We used to have some random girl talk while eating es krim goreng. Now that I had finished my course, I miss es krim goreng and Sapi.

Well this afternoon I had to wait for some hours but it's okay........ I wanted the ice cream so bad. After Sapi appeared, we went to the ice cream stall AND THERE WAS NO ES KRIM GORENG. So we just ate regular ice cream. uh fine -_- but our conversation was pretty exciting. We talked mostly about senior high school life -- we barely meet since we become a senior high students. Looks like Sapi is having fun at her new school, 71 SHS. She got used to meet new friends quickly while I have no improvement at all. I'm still the anti-social girl who always walks alone at school. Ha.

And I went home shortly afterwards. And now I'm here in front of my PC.

What a random Saturday.
Disa Houzuki

Mid-term Test (Part 2)

2010-10-16T18:46:00.004+07:00

(The first part is here)

Kamis

Kalo ga salah, hari Kamis pelajarannya Biologi dan Ekonomi. Ga perlu dijelasin secara detail, yang jelas hari ini gue paling bejat... pikir sendiri maksudnya apa. And I felt guilty afterwards. -_-

Jumat

Hari ini pelajaranya Bahasa Indonesia sama Bahasa Jerman. Jadi... gini. Di sekolah gue ada pelajaran Bahasa Asing sama Mulok Asing. Bahasa Asing ini pure belajar bahasanya, sedangkn Mulok pake belajar kebudayaannya juga, dll. Dua-duanya bisa milih di antara Bahasa Jerman, Prancis, Jepang, sama Mandarin tapi ga boleh dobel. Gue ngambil Bahasa Asing Jerman sama Mulok Jepang.

Asalnya gue kira Jepang ini bakal digeber banget kan, makanya gue sengaja masukin Jepang di mulok karena di antara 4 bahasa yang ditawarin cuman Jepang yang gua tau dasarnya. Pas UTS yang diulanganin si Jerman, gua panik. Tapi at last baru tau gue kalo UTS boleh remed, dan pas semesteran nanti (pas ga boleh remed) yang diulanganin Mulok. Hehehe. Alhamdulillah.

Anyway ulangan Bahasa Jermannya gampang, ga sesusah Bahasa Indonesia yang berujung ngasal.

Sabtu

Ulangan Bahasa Inggris gampang, Sosiologi ngarang bebas. Kacau, soal Sosiologi yang pake bahasa Inggris strukturnya ga jelas. I bet my teacher used Google Translate. Sudah siap remed.

HAHAHA.
Kok kayaknya post ini pendek banget ya? Sementara yang part 1 kayanya rada panjang. Sedikit ga mood ngomongin ulangan hari ini...

Maaf ya...
Disa Houzuki

Some Frequently-asked Random Questions

2010-10-15T21:19:00.008+07:00

To make it clear, here are the answers of the questions you often ask to me.

Where do you study?
This is a very basic question. I study at SMAN 81 Jakarta, grade X.

What kind of music do your family like? Did they influence your sense of music?
No. I was born in jazz-lover family but I prefer pop-punk and alternative rock hahaha

You wrote on your profile that you like artists signed in Decaydance Records. Can you mention your favorites?
Panic! At The Disco (for sure!), Fall Out Boy, Cobra Starship, The Academy Is..., Hey Monday, The Cab, and Four Year Strong.... a bit.

Why do you keep your relationship with Dito as a secret in front of his friends after you went back with him?
Pssst. Most of his friends don't like me (hey, I've already changed now!) and we don't want them to ruin our relationship. We love each other no matter what people think about us.

Do you like fashion?
Ahaha many people have asked me before. Well.... yes, but I don't think I'm stylish. I don't wear cool stuffs and shop a lot. But I do follow fashion news & trends, read fashion magazines & blogs, and love to dress up other people.

Why do you sometimes post your blog in Indonesian and use English on another day?
Errrr well... I use the most comfortable language to express my thoughts. If it feels more comfy when written in Indonesian, I'll use Indonesian. And if it feels better in English, I'll use English. That simple. But I'm still learning English btw, so sorry if you find any mistakes on my grammar.

Ask me more ;)
Disa Houzuki

Mid-term Test (Part 1)

2010-10-15T20:27:00.007+07:00

Hai. Hari ini gue mau nyoba bikin post yang ceritanya lumayan detil seperti gaya ngepost gue jaman kelas 8, hehehe. And I think it would be a very long post, so I divided the story into 2 posts (the second one is coming soon :B)

Jadi minggu ini seperti yang udah gue bilang sebelumnya gue lagi UTS, dan dan dan errrmmm ulangannya lumayanlah ada yang susah ada yang ngga, tergantung belajar apa nggaknya aja, he -_-

Senin

Started from Monday, Senin ada ulangan Fisika, PKn, dan Geografi. Gue dateng bener-bener tanpa persiapan, oke fisika gue udah privat sih tapi cuma itu doang persiapannya. Buka buku di rumah? Ngga samasekali.

Bangku di ruang ujian disusun seperti biasa, dan anak kelas 10 sebangku sama anak kelas 12. Kakak kelas yang sebangku sama gue lumayan modal a.k.a bisa dipinjemin alat tulis :B

Fisika

Waktu soal fisika dibagiin, gue inget pesen dari guru fisika gue.

"Pas soal dibagiin, langsung tulis rumus yang masih kamu inget di kertas ulangan (jangan di kertas coretan karena bisa dikira contekan). Untuk jaga-jaga kalo tiba-tiba kamu blank"

Dan gue nulis rumus-rumus yang masih gue inget, termasuk rumus Resultan vektor.

Abis itu dengan santainya gue ngerjain soal mulai dari yang multiple choice, dan gue mulai nervous begitu nyadar kalo semua soal menghitung besar Resultan vektor nggak ada jawabannya. Saking nervousnya sampe gue pengen pup. Tapi tetep gua jabanin aja itu soal. Gue itemin buletan LJK secara random. Gue ga pengen nyontek, soalnya... di ruangan gue ga ada yang nyontek. Pokoknya suasananya jauh banget sama jaman gua SMP. Udah bukan rahasia lagi kalo di ozone anak-anaknya solid ~~terutama saat ujian~~. Terus pas essay waktunya mepet banget, akhirnya gue cuman sempet ngerjain 2 nomer dari 5 soal. Salah satunya tentang besar Resultan vektor juga, dan hasilnya bikin curiga karena ga bulet. Tapi sekut.

Begitu selese gue langsung cek buku gue dan ternyata rumus yang benernya...

Oke fine, fine banget cuman lupa kuadrat doang gue udah kehilangan berapa poin itu -__-

PKn

Abis itu ada break sebentar, gue langsung ngibrit ke WC (serius, saking nervousnya fisika sampe-sampe pengen pup). Tapi karena gue takut gue bakal lama di WC, gue bawa buku paket PKn, kan gue belom belajar samasekali. Alhasil gue kayak bapak-bapak yang 'nabung' sambil baca koran, tapi ini lebih elit, 'nabung' sambil baca buku paket PKn.

Singkat cerita soal dibagiin. Temen gue yang duduk di belakang gue, sebut aja Fae (bukan nama sebenernya dan dia cowo) ngajak gue kerjasama, sayangnya kerjasama di ruangan ini amat susah. Akhirnya pas ulangan gue ngandelin insting aja. Emang PKn selalu pake insting sih gue... dan hari saat gue ngetik post ini gue baru tau kalo nile PKn gue 6,89 -__-

Geografi

Break lagi. Gue nyoba buka buku geografi dan baru tau kalo ulangannya tiga bab sekaligus padahal gurunya di kelas kerjanya diem dan ngasih latihan yang ga pernah diperiksa, dengan kata lain: ga pernah ngajar. Oke fine bu, fine.

Geografi gue ngandelin insting dan roman-romannya hasilnya bakal lebih parah dari PKn. Maaf ya Fae, lo nyontek orang yang salah.

Selasa

Hari Selasa ini lagi-lagi 'format' pelajarannya ilmu pasti, hapalan, hapalan. Dan seperti biasa, yang gue pelajarin di rumah cuma ilmu pasti nya, itupun di les doang hehe-_-

Matematika

Ga banyak kendala, cuma essaynya rada susah aja gambar grafik soalnya angkanya ga bulet.

Agama (Islam)

Alhamdulillah banget gue bisa bahasa arab sedikit, jadi walopun ga apal ayat-ayat Al-Qur'an tapi masih bisa nerjemahin. By the way guru yang ngawas Agama ini rada ngejengkelin dan gue ga suka sama dia dari awal -_-

Sejarah

Lagi-lagi gue ngandelin insting dan sedikit belajar pas break. Dan sialnya, guru yang ngawas gue pas agama ngawas gue lagi pas sejarah -_- entah si Fae tetep berani nyontek gue dari belakang ato ngga. Gue sih ga berani, males urusan sama si guru pengawas -_-

Rabu

Rabu akhirnya gue bisa ketemu Dito dong. Oke ini out of topic banget -_-
Ulangan di hari Rabu ga begitu susah, dan cuma ada 2 pelajaran, alhamdulillah.

Kimia

kertas coretan kimia gue yang berantakan (click to enlarge)

Gue agak lemot mikir kalo pelajaran kimia. Actually it's not a big problem, karena kata orang Jawa alon alon asal kelakon hehehe. Di hari gue bikin post ini, nilai kimia udah diumumin. Alhamdulillah 9,25.

TIK

Ini setengah ngandelin insting setengahnya lagi nginget-nginget pelajaran di SMP. Ada banyak materi lama yang balik lagi, misalnya jaringan komputer, topologi, hardware dll. Materi yang bener-bener brand new untungnya cuman kode biner. Itu gue baru belajar ngeconvert kode biner juga pas break setelah ulangan kimia hehehe, soalnya pelajaran TIK jarang merhatiin (malah gue pernah ngepost blog pas pelajaran TIK kan? :B)

Untuk Kamis-Jumat-Sabtu, to be continued ya ;)
(Update: the second part is here)

Disa Houzuki

Expressive

2010-10-10T13:16:00.003+07:00

Halo. Ini post ketiga hari ini (mencoba kabur dari belajar buat UTS he he). Sedikit update untuk post sebelum ini, at last gue pagi ini makan martabak keju. dewaaa :D

Ntah kenapa, kok gua akhir-akhir ini kalo baca post di blog gua taun 2008-2009 kayaknya asik ya? Ekspresif, bisa cerita ngalor ngidul dengan lancar tanpa banyak pikir panjang tapi tetep enak dibaca. Ya ngga sih? Dulu juga suka banyak anonymous yang ngasih comment, yaah walopun komentarnya ga penting tapi mereka kayaknya suka gaya bahasa gue cerita. Pokoknya jaman dulu nyaman banget ngepost, ga ada batesan dan respon yang dateng selalu bikin seneng. Dulu blog itu bener-bener nunjukin siapa gue. Tanpa topeng. Dan gue ngepost in a daily basis, jadinya updated banget dan bisa cerita detiiiiiiiil banget tentang kejadian yang gue alamin.

Terus akhir-akhir 2009 menjelang 2010 mulai banyak masalah yang muncul gara-gara blog. Yaa ngga banyak juga sih, cuma jadi ada beberapa orang yang kesel sama blog gue. Terus banyak juga yang kritik kalo gue ga boleh terlalu terbuka di dunia maya kayak gini. Kemudian gue kenal Twitter (oke kenalnya udah dari April 2009 sih, tapi baru nyaman banget sama Twitter akhir 2009). Hal-hal kecil dan detil sehari-hari masuknya jadi ke Twitter gue (buat yang belum tau, nih. @disahouzuki). Blog isinya jadi cuma garis besarnya aja.

Tapi belakangan gue malah baru mikir kalo Twitter ga bisa ngalahin blog. Ketika kita ngetweet hal yang mungkin ga disukai orang, orang bakal ngerasa kita ngeganggu timelinenya. Dan lama-lama gue jadi mikir kayaknya Twitter udah 'agak' berubah jadi ajang frontal-frontalan. Kayak kata si Gina di postnya yang ini, setuju gua bos. Sementara di blog, orang bisa milih mau buka blog kita ato ngga. Memang sekarang ada juga follow-memfollow di blog, but still, dashboard ga nampilin full post. Jadi masih bisa milih mau buka ato ngga. Kita juga bisa bua peluang jadi "penulis" lewat blog.

Gue ngerasa nyaman sama readers gua di sini, mulai dari 14 followers gue, pembaca setia kasat mata maupun ga kasat mata, sampe visitor-visitor numpang lewat. Semoga ke depannya urusan blogging gua digampangin sama Allah haha.

I love you so damn much bloggie :')
Ditinggal belajar seminggu dulu gapapa yaa
Disa Houzuki

I Need Martabak Keju Right Now

2010-10-10T01:50:00.003+07:00

Well It's 1.40 AM and I'm doing nothing. No one to talk to. Twitter timeline is silent and my boyf's already asleep. I'm fuckin lazy to sleep because when I wake up those thick books will greet me, this is why I hate exam.
So I end up blogging.

Then midnight hunger syndrome attacks me. This usually makes me start craving some random food in the midnight.

And tonight my temptation goes to..... Martabak keju -_-

Wouldn't they taste good? :9
I -- g o t t a -- e a t -- i t -- A S A P.

But it's midnight.
How can I get it?
....

Ya Allah, Gawd, suddenly I'm having a headache. It must be because I can't get martabak keju immediately O_______O

What a junk post. Looks like I gotta sleep.
Eat ya later.
Disa Houzuki

1 Month

2010-10-10T00:41:00.002+07:00

It's been a month since I went back with you. And more than a year since you confessed that you love me, and asked me to be yours, for the first time.
Well... happy anniversary. Ehm okay, people said monthly anniversary is called mensiversary but whatevs I don't really care. Even Windows & Blackberry dictionary don't recognize that word hahaha.

So... I'm glad to be yours 'till this moment :) you're the center of my happiness and without you I feel like nothing (pretty pessimistic). Well I don't say that our relationship has been that smooth. We hit a few bumps on the road along the way. We went on and off twice but it makes us rich in lessons.

I hope I can hold you ~~forever, oops I forgot nothing lasts forever~~ 'till the end of my life, then we'll met there in the heaven. Unyuuu :')

Yeah I'm keeping my hope too high. But I don't really care as long as it makes me happy.

Happy Anniversary
Disa Houzuki

P.S. Don't give any comments on my drawing -_- trust me, actually ~~he's uglier~~ he looks better :p

Hell Week

2010-10-09T15:08:00.004+07:00

Mungkin selama seminggu ke depan (besok mungkin masih ngepost sih. Entah) gue ga bakal blogging dulu karena ada UTS.

(click to enlarge)

Gua pusing terus terang ngadepin UTS ini, soalnya ini minggu ujian pertama yang bakal gua hadepin sejak SMA. SMA kan pelajarannya lebih banyak (misalnya jaman SMP cuman IPS sekarang dibagi lagi jadi Geografi, Sosiologi, Ekonomi, Sejarah). Jadi kadang dalem satu hari bisa ada 3 pelajaran yang diulanganin ._.

Menjelang UTS ini banyak pelajaran yang gue keteteran. Sekarang gua terpaksa harus kejar semuanya. Gua jadi les privat sana-sini (yang bayarnya per pertemuan. Gataudeh ke depannya bakal tetep privat ato menjelang UTS doang). Matematika Fisika Kimia gua kebut dan badan gua jadi ngik-ngikan. Yang bikin tambah parah, pulang sekolah gua naik ojek belasan kilometer, dan keujanan terus. Mana sekolah gua letaknya agak rendah lagi, jadi kebanjiran terus. Capek + keujanan = pilek! *srooottt*

Anyway, kemaren gue latihan English Debate dan hasilnya? Terrible. Baca aja post temen se tim gue tentang latihan kemaren (click here)

Terus besok tanggal 101010 kan ya? Pasti banyak yang jadian. Jangan lupa PJ, hehehe. Kemaren gue denger di radio, katanya KUA Bandung kerepotan gara-gara banyak yang pengen kawin di tanggal itu -_- hahaha.
Gua sendiri gimana? Ah besok anniv doang sama Dito. Sebulanan.... sejak balikan. Kalo mau ditotal sih udah 11 bulanan lah gue sama dia. Hehehe. Unyuu.

Catch ya later ;)
Disa Houzuki

Awake

2010-10-06T08:47:00.009+07:00

Hell-o sorry I've been busy this week -_-
Nyari waktu buat ngepost ga ada terus. Weekend kemaren gue nginep di Puncak, ga internetan. Schooldays mana sempet ngepost, kalo ada les pasti tepar, kalo ga ada les ngapain? Galau. Udah hampir seminggu ga saling ngasih kabar sama Dito, dianya lagi ga mood gitu sama gua :'(

Halah baru awal post udah curcol.

Banyak kejadian yang terjadi selama gua ga ngepost. Misalnya minggu lalu tanggal 28 Sept gua ultah, walopun ga seseru ultah biasanya.
Gua di kelas masih suram kayak biasa. Keceriaan gua jaman bareng #Altisimo gapernah nongol lagi sejak SMA. Terus hari itu gua baru hepi pas pelajaran Bahasa Jepang soalnya ada anak kelas lain juga, eeeh gua ribut Rina-senseinya marah. Terus sekarang dia jadi ngeblacklist gua omaigaaat ._.

Abis itu LTUB, ini kayak lomba paskibra antarkelas gitu. Waktu gua kesita mulu kemaren-kemaren gara-gara LTUB ini, tapi lumayan sih #Transformer (ini nama kelas gua, X-4) jadi sedikit lebih kompak, walopun gua masih aja gabisa baur sama mereka ._.
Terus karena anak-anak Transformer pada tengsin yaa videonya ga dipublikasiin hahaha, tapi seru kok seru banget.

Video LTUB yang ada di YouTube malah video kelasnya cowo gue HAHAHA.

Cari yang paling depan (iya, Dito jadi komandan yel-yel \m/) terus putih Cina.
Dangdutnya pol-polan banget jir HAHAHA.

Terus apaan lagi yak? Oiya, gua sekarang rada bangkit dari keterpurukan SMA dong.
Gua sekarang udah mulai coba belajar. Terus cari temen. Asik kan? Dukung doooong :B

Dan hal terakhir yang mau gua bahas di post ini, gua dapet awaaaard!!! dari Ayxelan :B

Karena gua bingung mau kasih ke siapa, gua kasih ke temen-temen yang gua kenal di real life yang blognya masih aktif aja ya :) soalnya sekarang udah dikit banget temen gua yang kayak begitu huhuhu.
Listnya:
Sapi
Etha
Lulu
dll (yang mau ambil bisa ambil :B)

Salam semangat
Disa Houzuki

Just A Short Note

2010-09-26T23:14:00.020+07:00

Yo there.
I've made some changes in this blog's layout. As you see, this blog has new background, template, header (the person in the pic is me. I know I'm not that good at drawing -_-), and some minor stuffs. I prefer the previous template actually, but it's not so mobile-friendly... not Opera Mini 4 friendly, to be exact.
Well, this one's okay too ☺. Everything with Panic! At The Disco in it is okay for me HEHEHE.

Oh and I use bloggers' full name to write Affiliates (click 'Exits' tab) now. But you can comment here if you don't wanna be linked using your full name.

That's it.
Too short?
Actually I wanna write more but it's already 11.11 PM and tomorrow is Monday.
Wow, 11.11! Make a wish!
......
Amin.

Lemme continue my words. Aw man, I don't wanna go to school tomorrow.

I don't really miss the building above (but maybe someday I will).
Life is always hard for SMAN 81 Jakarta students. -_-

I get the chance to meet my boyf at school, but moving class system makes it harder even just to see him. -_-

Kay, gotta hit the bed soon.
Catch ya later.
Disa Houzuki

P.S. My birthday's coming up in 2 days. Teehee! :B

"What A Catch, Donnie" and Fall Out Boy's Indefinite Hiatus

2010-09-17T20:09:00.010+07:00

WARNING: Post ini bakalan rada ngelantur.

Aduh bingung mau mulai dari mana.

Jadi... hm gua suka Fall Out Boy sejak 3 taun yang lalu kalo ga salah, awal-awal masuk SMP. Aduh jadi kangen ozone. Oke ganyambung. Oke mulai sukanya agak telat he he he, taunya juga baru dari kelas 6 dan waktu itu masih jamannya lagu lokal.

Waktu gua mulai suka itu pas This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race lagi beken-bekennya.

Terus sejak itu sampe sekarang, gua setia dengerin lagu-lagunya FOB ceritanya wkwk walopun belom keseluruhannya gua denger dan walopun gua ga sampe ngedeklarasiin diri jadi Young FOB kaya cowo gue -_- Makanya pas setengah taun yang lalu FOB mulai hiatus ato vakum ato apalah itu yang ga jelas sampe kapan (ada kemungkinan ga bakal balik-balik lagi) gua agak sedih. Bingung juga kenapa sampe sedih.

Naaah kemaren itu gua kangen kan sama lagunya, gua downloadlah album kompilasi greatest hitsnya, Believers Never Die. Terus dengerin What A Catch, Donnie. Ini lagu dari Folie à Deux, album terakhirnya FOB sebelum Believers Never Die. Sebenernya udah pernah denger sih tapi baru mulai seneng setelah denger ulang abis donlot.

Patrick Stump suaranya dewa bener yaAllah hahaha, terus nadanya sedih kayak lagu perpisahan gitu T__T mana di bagian hampir terakhirnya tuh ada Gabe Saporta (Cobra Starship), Travis McCoy (Gym Class Heroes), Brendon Urie (Panic! At The Disco), sama beberapa suara lainnya yang gua ga kenal (kalo ga salah vokalis The Cab sama The Academy Is...) cameo gitu, nyanyiin potongan lagu-lagu FOB yang jadul, yang sebelum album Folie à Deux. Kan kalo lagu-lagunya di sum up gitu kesannya kisah FOB akan segera berakhir T______T

*sedih*

Anyway coba dengerin aja, highly recommended, lagunya kayak lagu jadul (tapi ga sevintage P!ATD) dan ga ngerock kayak lagu-lagu mereka biasanya. Ga ngebeat juga. Bukan tipe-tipe yang 'asik' gitu, tapi enak, menurut gua ya.

Here's the video.

Mirip ama liriknya, di videonya juga ada barang-barang yang pernah nongol di lagu-lagu FOB yang lama (tanduk dari Sugar We're Going Down, baju yang pernah dipake si Patrick di video klip apaya lupa, sama lambang FOB dari Thnks Fr Th Mmrs). Hahaha terakhirnya ada Joe Trohman, Andy Hurley, ama Panic! At The Disco di sekoci.
Apasih gua jadi ngomentarin gajelas gini.

Kalo liriknya ini.

What A Catch, Donnie

I got troubled thoughts
And the self-esteem to match
What a catch, what a catch

You'll never catch us
So just let me be
Said I'll be fine
Until the hospital or American Embassy
Miss Flack said I still want you back
Yeah, Miss Flack said I still want you back

I got troubled thoughts
And the self-esteem to match
What a catch, what a catch
And all I can think of
Is the way I'm the one
Who charmed the one
Who gave up on you
Who gave up on you

They say the captain
Goes down with the ship
So, when the world ends
Will God go down with it?
Miss Flack said I still want you back
Yeah, Miss Flack said I still want you back

I got troubled thoughts
And the self-esteem to match
What a catch, what a catch
And all I can think of
Is the way I'm the one
Who charmed the one
Who gave up on you
Who gave up on you

What a catch
What a catch
What a catch
What a catch

I will never end up like him
Behind my back, I already am
Keep a calendar
This way you will always know

I got troubled thoughts
And the self-esteem to match
What a catch, what a catch
And all I can think of
Is the way I'm the one
Who charmed the one
Who gave up on you
Who gave up on you

Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman
Maybe he won't find out what I know
You were the last good thing about this part of town
We're going down, down in an earlier round
And sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded god complex cock in and pull it
Dance, dance, we're falling apart to halftime
Dance, dance, and these are the lives you'd love to lead
Dance, this is the way they'd love
If they knew how misery loved me
This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race
This ain't a scene, it's a goddamn arms race
One night, yeah, and one more time
Thanks for the memories
Even though they weren't so great
He tastes like you, only sweeter
Growing up, growing up

I got troubled thoughts
And the self-esteem to match
What a catch, what a catch

Font agak abu-abu itu lirik yang faded gitu, ketimpa. Ntar kalo denger juga ngerti wkwk

Bye.
Kepala puyeng.
Disa Houzuki

Pancakes

2010-09-15T18:08:00.005+07:00

Akhir-akhir ini gua lagi suka banget pancakes, apalagi yang dituangin sirup maple.

*ga kuat iman* *drooling non-stop*

Terus karena gue tertarik bikin pancake, gua coba browsing resepnya di Google dan akhirnya nemu cara yang lumayan gampang. Hmm gua belom nyobain sendiri sih tapi kayaknya asik juga, jadi gue share aja ya okeokeee tingtingting.

Bahan: 250ml susu segar plain; 1,5 sdm cuka makan; 165gr. tepung terigu; 2 sdm gula pasir; 1 sdm baking powder; 1/4 sdm garam; 1 butir telur; 2 sdm mentega, dilelehkan.

Cara:
* Campur susu segar dengan cuka, aduk rata. Hasilnya susu akan mengental (seperti susu basi).
* Campur tepung terigu, gula pasir, baking powder, dan garam.
* Masukkan campuran susu ke dalam campuran tepung, aduk rata.
* Masukkan telur dan mentega leleh, aduk rata.
* Diamkan sekitar 15 menit.
* Tuang adonan dengan menggunakan sendok sayur ke dalam wajan datar yang diletakkan di atas api kecil (wajannya dipanasin dulu ya), tutup beberapa saat, kalau sudah mulai muncul pori2, balik.

Catatan: karena ukuran telur yang tidak sama, jika adonan terlalu kental, tambahkan susu, tapi jika terlalu encer tambahkan terigu.

Source: click here

Wanjir ga sabar bikin hahaha!
Selamat mencoba, semoga post ini berguna~

Salam kue
Disa Houzuki

Note: udah liat template blog baru gua? Komen ya kalo rada ngeselin, di Firefox gua tambah lemot soalnya -_- ini background mungkin ke depannya bakal gua ganti, oh iya gadgets Welcome, Find Me, sama Exits sekarang dibuang terus pindah ke tabs hehe

Someone Invited Me to Join an Anti-Preps Group and I Declined

2010-09-15T17:51:00.004+07:00

Gue juga ga suka MPT (ga suka banget malah), tapi ga harus bikin grup anti-antian gitu juga kan? Menurut gue kenapa ga nyoba nyaingin mereka di bidang-bidang yang selama ini biasa mereka kuasain? Pasti efeknya mereka lebih dokam kan? Ga ngerasa selalu di atas lagi kan? ;)

Gue ga ikutan bukan berarti gue ngebela mereka. Gue cuma kebetulan nemu solusi yang lebih bagus aja. Buktiin kalo kita juga bisa.

Salam cupu
Disa Houzuki

I'm Home!

2010-09-14T21:11:00.000+07:00

Oke gue rada maruk yah sehari ngepost tiga kali, ah who cares.

Gue baru kemaren pulang dari apa yang orang Indonesia bilang mudik. Gua mudik ga pernah jauh-jauh, dari kecil selalu ke Bandung.

Gua nginep tempatnya pindah-pindah, pertama di rumah nenek dari bokap, abis itu di rumah nenek dari nyokap (yang amat miskin sinyal). Tapi pas nginep di rumah nenek dari bokap pasti siang ato sorenya ke rumah nenek dari nyokap, and vice versa. Hari terakhir di hotel, iseng, karena sodara yang nginep di hotel iseng ngebookingin satu ruangan lagi.

Sebenernya lebaran taun ini nothing special sih ya (kecuali yang gua tulis di post kedua sebelum ini hehe), yang jelas lebaran taun ini tuh beeeh much much better than the last. Soalnya taun lalu gua lebaran lagi banyak masalah, ironis ya harusnya maaf-maafan malah lagi banyak masalah. Akhirnya mewek mulu seharian.

Lebaran ini yang bikin mewek.... THRnya -_- yak lower than my expectation hehehe abis sekarang udah dianggap gede sih.... badan doang gede (bahkan badan juga ga gede sih, kurus -_-). Yep gua cuma tambah tua tapi ga tambah dewasa he he, kelakuan masih sama ama anak SD.

Lalu sekarang, begitu sampe rumah, gua udah ga bisa sante lagi. Pekerjaan rumah dan pekerjaan rumah tangga telah mengejar. Alamak. Guru 81 ngasih PR ga kira-kira nih banyak amat. Mana pembantu belom balik mudik lagi, jadilah gua harus bantu-bantu nyokap. Mau lenjeh-lenjeh udah susah.

Yaudah segitu dulu babay~~

Salam sehabis mudik
Disa Houzuki

Preps Should Read This

2010-09-14T20:20:00.013+07:00

"Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one"

- Bill Gates

Lebaran Surprise

2010-09-14T19:10:00.006+07:00

There were a boy and a girl. They met in junior high school. They became best friends, they fell in love, they became a couple and they'd been in a relationship for 10 months when they broke up.

"I don't feel comfortable anymore when I'm with you. I hate your habit. You're such an attention whore. You said you would change, but you didn't keep your promise. Sorry, I hope this is the best for us"

He left. He broke her heart.

They remained as friends for a while, but the girl kept tweeting and blogging about her feelings. Then the boy treated her like a stranger to help her move on. But it hurt her more.

The girl had a trauma since then. She lost her bad habit (the one her ex hated) and became an introvert.

Then they tried to find a new one.
The girl failed once.
The boy failed three times (all because of the girl).

The boy became angry.
"Go away, you bastard. This is my life, you can't disturb"
The girl agreed.
"I think I didn't disturb you, but if that's what you want, I'll leave"

A couple hours later, the boy confessed,
"I still love you, but I know I can't have you. That's why I looked for a new one. But you ruined everything"
"If you love me, why did you hurt me? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
"I didn't wanna lose my pride"
"Cih"

After a long talk, they agreed to move on, together. But the girl still couldn't do it.
The boy read her tweets and found out that the girl hadn't changed.
The girl's words made it hard for him to move on.
The boy mocked her. The girl was angry.

"You told me to walk away from your life, but why'd you still stalk me?"

The girl gave him two options:
1. The boy must stop loving her. She will protect her tweets to help him.
2. They made up.

"I need time to think"
"Pick one before my 15th birthday" (September 28th)
"Kay. And if you wish I chose the second one, I hope you're better than before"

Then it seemed like the boy prefers the second option. The following week they had a long conversation on BBM and started using aku-kamu instead of gue-lo. Ha.

Then there was that big day, what Indonesian moslems call Lebaran. The girl was in a family gathering when the boy called her, and asked her.

"Would you be mine (again)?"

The rest you can figure out.

It's a happy ending. Not an ending actually, it's a new beginning.

100910
Disa Houzuki

(btw, Minal Aidin wal Faidzin, forgive me if I have any fault or mistakes.)

High-Quality Sleep

2010-09-06T12:38:00.001+07:00

Akhir-akhir ini gua sering nyuri-nyuri waktu buat tidur dan ga pernah ngerasa cukup.

Biasanya malem gua tidur jam 10an dan bangun jam 4an buat sahur. Terus di perjalanan ke sekolah yang kira-kira 1 jam gua tidur lagi. Terus di sekolah kalo gurunya boring gua tidur. Terus jam istirahat kalo ga ada kerjaan gua tidur. Terus pulang sekolah di angkot gua tidur. Terus sampe rumah gua tidur lagi sampe buka puasa (dan tetap mengantuk).

Gua juga bingung kenapa gua tidur ga pernah berasa cukup. Perasaan kerjaan gua jauh dari sibuk.

PR banyak sih, tapi gua palingan ngerjain di sekolah (he he he). Soal ini gua ga jauh berubah dari gua pas jaman SMP. Gua pemales, jarang belajar, padahal ritme belajar di sekolah gua yang sekarang kenceng bener. Hasil ulangan keluar, baru dokam hehehehe.

Ekskul yang gua ambil juga ada 3, tapi pake mulut semua (Japan Club, padus, English Debate). Gabakaldah bikin tepar, kecuali pas puasa. Untung gua kaga ngambil ekskul semacam carve (pecinta alam di sekolah gua) yang hampir tiap hari pulang sekolah push-up di lapangan takraw. Sangat tidak lenjeh-friendly. Tapi tetep aja gua capek bener idup.

Tekanan batin? Di luar masalah lovelife sih kaga ada kok, sante sante aja. Lovelife juga gapernah bikin masalah kronis kayak badan tepar wkwk. Gua jarang down (walopun sekalinya down besoknya seharian di UKS -__-)

Karena gua bingung kenapa gua jadi kayak kucing gini, gua tungguin tuh liburan dateng. Terus gua terus-terusan tidur di hari pertama liburan, dan langsung berasa weightless. Tidurnya berkualitas banget.

Akhirnya besoknya gua ulangin lagi tuh sampe seharian gua di kamar. Turun cuman pas saur sama buka puasa doang. Eh di hari ketiga mungkin karena kebanyakan tidur mata gua berasa bengkak -__- mungkin udah bukan high-quality sleep lagi kaliya jatohnya, mungkin sekarang jadi kebo sleep -___-

Jadi, gua menarik kesimpulan, kalo mau dapetin tidur berkualitas lo harus:
1. Tidur malem yang cukup, sebanyak apapun lo tidur siang kalo tidur malemnya bentar kualitasnya beda
2. Tidur ga keputus-putus, sediain waktu yang lama untuk tidur dan waktu yang lama buat 'kerja', kalo keputus-putus tidur lo gabakal berkualitas dan 'kerja' lo juga gabakal efektif
3. Tidur secukupnya, berlebihan juga ga bagus. Kalo anak umur se gua katanya tidur malem mestinya sekitar 9 jam. Kalo anak 4 taun 15 jam, kalo bapak-bapak ato ibu-ibu 40 taunan sekitar 8-7 jam.

Hope it helps, kalo lo punya masalah yang sama ama gua.

Disa Houzuki